Lawyers, Guns and Money
"Every bit as good at writing legal thrillers as Michael Connelly, you will not be disappointed by reading any of JD Rhoades' novels." -Reader review by "Jenni".
"His characters are full and deep and real." -S. Malley
"Your client being found in the presence of a dead body is widely regarded as a bad thing among the defense bar."- Andy Cole
Andy Cole has a problem. Local crime boss Voit Fairgreen has just dropped a bag full of cash on his desk and hired him to defend Voit's brother Danny on a murder charge. Andy's one of the movers and shakers in the small southern town of Blainesville, and Voit figures Andy's the kind of inside guy that can cut a deal to get his baby brother out of the jam.
The problem is that Danny just might be innocent. But someone powerful needs this case buried, and if an innocent man dies for that, so be it.
Andy Cole is a guy who's made a good living by going along to get along. He's been willing to bend every rule, except Rule One--always get paid. But this case will cause him to re-examine his life and push him and his lover, beautiful newspaper editor Elizabeth Sinclair, to risk everything--including their lives-- for the truth.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Only In Wingnuttia: "Forward" Is Now A Suspicious Word
Latest Newspaper Column:
F orward. It seems like such a nice, positive word. We call someone with foresight "forward-thinking." When you repay a good deed done for you by doing a similar favor for someone else, we call that "paying it forward." When traveling, moving forward is a good thing. So you'd think no one could have a problem with an upbeat word like "forward."
You'd think so, but you'd be wrong. Because in the dark and scary thicket of paranoia that is the right-wing mind, there is no word that cannot be turned into something fraught with secret and sinister meaning, especially when that word is used by or on behalf of the man they regard as the embodiment of pure evil, President Barack Obama.
So when the Obama campaign revealed that its slogan for 2012 was, simply, "Forward," the reaction was predictable.
See, the right wing realizes that the president is a better campaigner than their guy, Lord Mitt "Etch a Sketch" Romney. Obama's more natural, is a better speaker, and connects better with people than Mitt, who often seems like an alien trying to get the hang of acting like a human being.
So they're going to gripe and whine and complain whenever the president campaigns at all, as if it's somehow unseemly of him not to graciously step aside and let their guy win by default. Every campaign speech will be denounced as "divisive" regardless of content. Every appearance will draw howls of outrage over the cost of transportation and security. Every commercial is going to be treated like some sort of affront to the very idea of democracy.
Their reaction to the slogan is no different, and neither is their usual scattershot, muddled and generally crack-brained reaction to it.
"Communist leaders frequently used - and still use - the word 'forward," blogger Joel Pollak of Breitbart.com pointed out. The word "has a long and rich history with European Marxism," said The Washington Times.
On the other hand, Jim Hoft of Gateway Pundit, who can be reliably counted on to exceed your wildest dreams of sheer lunacy, claimed that "Forward" had been a "marching song of the Hitler Youth" and emphasized the point by posting a picture of marching Nazis wearing Obama pins so that his dumber readers (which is to say, all of them) wouldn't miss the point.
So let me get this straight. By using one common English word, the president demonstrates that he's both a communist and a fascist, even though those two ideologies spent a big chunk of the 20th century at each other's throats.
It's too bad they couldn't have come up with some quote from the Quran that uses the word "forward" so they could claim the wingnut trifecta, in which the raging right insists that Obama is a fascist, a Godless communist, and a fanatical Muslim jihadist all at the same time.
But wait! It seems that "Forward" also is the state motto of Wisconsin, whose current governor is right-wing union-busting hero Scott Walker, at least for the time being. Does this mean that Walker is a fascist or a communist, or both, for not immediately having the slogan changed?
I read that the slogan hung on banners at Richard Nixon's 1969 inauguration was "Forward Together." So maybe Nixon was a Marxist, too. Sort of throws the whole China trip into a whole new light, doesn't it?
George Bush the Elder's 1987 campaign autobiography was called "Looking Forward." Before that, even St. Ronnie Reagan titled a famous speech in 1986 "Forward to Freedom."
OMG, as the kids say on the Internet! The entire Republican Party has, for years, been riddled with Marxists! Or fascists! Or something.
Mitt Romney, on the other hand, started his campaign with the slogan "Believe in America." If that sounds familiar, it's because it's been used before, by Democrat John Kerry.
Which makes sense, since Romney is the John Kerry of the Republican party: a rich, entitled Massachusetts moderate trying to convince his party's skeptical base he's one of them, despite having once supported the thing that base purports to despise most (the Iraq War in Kerry's case, the individual mandate in Romney's). Both are running against a controversial incumbent on a platform that amounts to "I'm Not Him." And we all know how that turned out.
Romney would be well advised to drop a slogan with such negative historical baggage for something more appropriate to him. Like "Backward." After all, that's where he and his party want to take us.
Monday, May 07, 2012
The Devil's Right Hand (Jack Keller) eBook is FREE! Today Only...
Amazon.com: The Devil's Right Hand (Jack Keller) eBook: J.D. Rhoades
"The book reads as though Stephen Hunter wrote an episode of Justified"- Dana King
"Rhoades slaps this supercharged crime-fiction debut into overdrive in the first paragraph and never lets up through nearly 300 pages of non-stop action."--Booklist (starred review)
"A fine example of redneck noir. Nicely crafted…if you hail from certain dark corners of the sunny South, it's the next best thing to a trip home."--Washington Post
"Enjoyable…Rhoades seems to have observed and remembered all the seedy details of life outside the centers of urban and suburban life as we know it. Nobody could totally invent this stuff."--Chicago Tribune
"The Devil's Right Hand blasts right out of the chute and keeps up the pace until the final paragraph. Steeped in Southern sense of place, the reader can feel the heat and humidity and smell the cordite hanging in the air. J.D. Rhoades writes action as well as anybody in the business, and bail bondsman Jack Keller is a winner."--C.J. Box, author of Trophy Hunt
"Spare, tense and violent, this is a debut that will turn other writers green with envy. Jack Keller is a sure-fire star of the new generation of hard-boiled heroes."--Stephen Booth, author of Blind to the Bones
"Riveting as the rack of a sawn-off shotgun, The Devil's Right Hand is a novel of pace and power, locked and loaded from the start. Bail enforcer Jack Keller, a damaged gulf war veteran, moves the heart in unexpected ways. Keller's quarry Raymond, a drug dealer bent on revenge, pledges 'no more water, but the fire next time'--and it's the fire we get on almost every page of a book that is positively aflame with action. Let's hope that J.D. Rhoades and Jack Keller are due to deliver more of the fire and soon."--Ken Bruen, author of The Guards
"The book reads as though Stephen Hunter wrote an episode of Justified"- Dana King
"Rhoades slaps this supercharged crime-fiction debut into overdrive in the first paragraph and never lets up through nearly 300 pages of non-stop action."--Booklist (starred review)
"A fine example of redneck noir. Nicely crafted…if you hail from certain dark corners of the sunny South, it's the next best thing to a trip home."--Washington Post
"Enjoyable…Rhoades seems to have observed and remembered all the seedy details of life outside the centers of urban and suburban life as we know it. Nobody could totally invent this stuff."--Chicago Tribune
"The Devil's Right Hand blasts right out of the chute and keeps up the pace until the final paragraph. Steeped in Southern sense of place, the reader can feel the heat and humidity and smell the cordite hanging in the air. J.D. Rhoades writes action as well as anybody in the business, and bail bondsman Jack Keller is a winner."--C.J. Box, author of Trophy Hunt
"Spare, tense and violent, this is a debut that will turn other writers green with envy. Jack Keller is a sure-fire star of the new generation of hard-boiled heroes."--Stephen Booth, author of Blind to the Bones
"Riveting as the rack of a sawn-off shotgun, The Devil's Right Hand is a novel of pace and power, locked and loaded from the start. Bail enforcer Jack Keller, a damaged gulf war veteran, moves the heart in unexpected ways. Keller's quarry Raymond, a drug dealer bent on revenge, pledges 'no more water, but the fire next time'--and it's the fire we get on almost every page of a book that is positively aflame with action. Let's hope that J.D. Rhoades and Jack Keller are due to deliver more of the fire and soon."--Ken Bruen, author of The Guards
Sunday, May 06, 2012
Your Weird Vacation Guide 2012
Latest Newspaper Column:
Since we have a primary coming up, along with a hotly debated referendum on the so-called "Amendment One," the powers-that-be here at The Pilot generally ask us pixel-stained wretches to steer clear of "blatant electioneering," whatever that is, on the last Sunday before the election.
So, since we're taking a momentary vacation from politics, and since the warmer weather so often causes the collective fancy to lightly turn to thoughts of putting on the Ray-Bans and getting the heck out of Dodge for a few days, this would seem an opportune time for our annual look at wild, wacky, and downright weird vacation spots. Such as:
*Gnome Countryside, in Pennsylvania, bills itself as "a breathtaking paradise and gnome biome nestled in the rolling hills of Amish farmland in southern Lancaster County." I'm not sure exactly what a "gnome biome" is, but I can tell you it's loads of fun to say. Try it. The place appears to be run by one Richard Humphreys, who looks like he could be Wilford Brimley's younger, much fitter brother, and who wears (according to his photo on the website) short britches, suspenders and a Sherpa hat.
Perhaps Mr. Humphreys thinks this is how gnomes dress, because there's one thing I can tell you, this dude loves him some gnomes. Your 10 bucks a head buys you a three-hour nature walk, beginning, of course, in the "Gnomery," and winding its way past the "Labyrinth of Gratitude," a waterfall dubbed the "Gnome Gniagra," and the terrifying "Valley of the Shadows of Litter," while Mr. Humphreys talks about nature, environmentalism and, of course, gnomes. True, it sounds a little weird, but also kind of sweet. If I'm ever up that way, I may check it out myself. But if he wears that hat, I'm going to bust out laughing.
*On a long road trip, do you ever turn to your spouse and go, "Honey, you know what I could really go for right now? A game of tic-tac-toe with a live chicken"? Me neither. But if that's your thing, then Rockome Gardens, a few hours south of Chicago, is the place for you.
Like Gnome Countryside, Rockome Gardens is located in Amish country, but this Amish country is in Illinois. (For people who don't use cars, those Amish sure do get around.) Built around a set of decorative rock gardens built during the Depression by a manufacturer who decided to put his idled employees to work building stuff for him rather than lay them off, Rockome Gardens also features museums, shops and a restaurant. But I suspect it's the tic-tac-toe-playing chicken that's the big draw.
*When Georgian Howard Finster was 60 years old, he looked at a paint smudge on his finger, saw a human face, and heard the voice of God telling him "make sacred art." Not being one to argue with the Almighty, Howard proceeded to do just that. He created what critics call "outsider art": sculptures, paintings, and what-have-you by unschooled and untrained artists, works that often tread the fine line between the divinely inspired and the completely loopy. Finster created more than 48,000 works that ended up in places that ranged from the Library of Congress to videos by the rock band R.E.M. But many of them stayed in his four-acre yard, which he dubbed "Paradise Garden." People came from all over to get married in his "Folk Art Church," which he built by hand to resemble a wedding cake.
When Howard died, the place fell into disrepair. But in 2010, the state of Georgia marked it as a landmark worthy of preservation, and in 2012, it was finally placed on the National Register of Historic Places and opened to the public. Now you can see the "Bicycle Tower" where R.E.M.'s "Radio Free Europe" video was filmed, as well as many other pieces of Finster's art.
What you do not get to see, alas, is Howard himself. Despite his wishes to be placed in a casket he built by hand and set up in the chapel (next to a statue of a Coke bottle), his relatives buried him in the local churchyard, then moved him a few years later to a graveyard in Alabama. Some people just lack vision, I guess.
Gnomes, tic-tac-toe-playing chickens, and coffins of eccentric and possibly insane artists - is this a great country or what? Hope you get to get out and see some of it this summer.
Since we have a primary coming up, along with a hotly debated referendum on the so-called "Amendment One," the powers-that-be here at The Pilot generally ask us pixel-stained wretches to steer clear of "blatant electioneering," whatever that is, on the last Sunday before the election.
So, since we're taking a momentary vacation from politics, and since the warmer weather so often causes the collective fancy to lightly turn to thoughts of putting on the Ray-Bans and getting the heck out of Dodge for a few days, this would seem an opportune time for our annual look at wild, wacky, and downright weird vacation spots. Such as:
*Gnome Countryside, in Pennsylvania, bills itself as "a breathtaking paradise and gnome biome nestled in the rolling hills of Amish farmland in southern Lancaster County." I'm not sure exactly what a "gnome biome" is, but I can tell you it's loads of fun to say. Try it. The place appears to be run by one Richard Humphreys, who looks like he could be Wilford Brimley's younger, much fitter brother, and who wears (according to his photo on the website) short britches, suspenders and a Sherpa hat.
Perhaps Mr. Humphreys thinks this is how gnomes dress, because there's one thing I can tell you, this dude loves him some gnomes. Your 10 bucks a head buys you a three-hour nature walk, beginning, of course, in the "Gnomery," and winding its way past the "Labyrinth of Gratitude," a waterfall dubbed the "Gnome Gniagra," and the terrifying "Valley of the Shadows of Litter," while Mr. Humphreys talks about nature, environmentalism and, of course, gnomes. True, it sounds a little weird, but also kind of sweet. If I'm ever up that way, I may check it out myself. But if he wears that hat, I'm going to bust out laughing.
*On a long road trip, do you ever turn to your spouse and go, "Honey, you know what I could really go for right now? A game of tic-tac-toe with a live chicken"? Me neither. But if that's your thing, then Rockome Gardens, a few hours south of Chicago, is the place for you.
Like Gnome Countryside, Rockome Gardens is located in Amish country, but this Amish country is in Illinois. (For people who don't use cars, those Amish sure do get around.) Built around a set of decorative rock gardens built during the Depression by a manufacturer who decided to put his idled employees to work building stuff for him rather than lay them off, Rockome Gardens also features museums, shops and a restaurant. But I suspect it's the tic-tac-toe-playing chicken that's the big draw.
*When Georgian Howard Finster was 60 years old, he looked at a paint smudge on his finger, saw a human face, and heard the voice of God telling him "make sacred art." Not being one to argue with the Almighty, Howard proceeded to do just that. He created what critics call "outsider art": sculptures, paintings, and what-have-you by unschooled and untrained artists, works that often tread the fine line between the divinely inspired and the completely loopy. Finster created more than 48,000 works that ended up in places that ranged from the Library of Congress to videos by the rock band R.E.M. But many of them stayed in his four-acre yard, which he dubbed "Paradise Garden." People came from all over to get married in his "Folk Art Church," which he built by hand to resemble a wedding cake.
When Howard died, the place fell into disrepair. But in 2010, the state of Georgia marked it as a landmark worthy of preservation, and in 2012, it was finally placed on the National Register of Historic Places and opened to the public. Now you can see the "Bicycle Tower" where R.E.M.'s "Radio Free Europe" video was filmed, as well as many other pieces of Finster's art.
Gnomes, tic-tac-toe-playing chickens, and coffins of eccentric and possibly insane artists - is this a great country or what? Hope you get to get out and see some of it this summer.
Saturday, May 05, 2012
Now, THIS Is The Way To Respond To a Bad Review
One Goat, on Account
To the Editor:
I had the great pleasure of reading your unsolicited critique of the "Ch-Check It Out" music video ["Licensed to Stand Still" by Stephanie Zacharek, May 16]. It took some time to get to me, as it had to be curried (sp?) on goatback through the fjords of my homeland, the Oppenzell. And in the process the goat died, and then I had to give the mailman one of my goats, so remember, you owe me a goat.
Anyway, that video is big time good. Pauline Kael is spinning over in her grave. My film technique is clearly too advanced for your small way of looking at it. Someday you will be yelling out to the streets below your windows: "He is the chancellor of all the big ones! I love his genius! I am the most his close personal friend!"
You journalists are ever lying. I remember people like you laughing at me at the university, and now they are all eating off of my feet. You make this same unkind laughter at the Jerry Lewis for his Das Verruckte Professor and now look, he is respected as a French-clown. And you so-call New York Times smarties are giving love to the U2 because they are dressing as the Amish and singing songs about America? (Must I dress as the Leprechaun to sing songs about Ireland so that you will love me? You know the point I make here is true!)
In concluding, "Ch-Check It Out" is the always best music film and you will be realizing this too far passing. As ever I now wrap my dead goat carcass in the soiled New York Times — and you are not forgetting to buy me a replacement! Please send that one more goat to me now!
NATHANIAL HORNBLOWER
Manhattan
The writer, whose real name is Adam Yauch, is a member of the Beastie Boys. He directs their music videos under the pseudonym Nathanial Hornblower.
R.I.P. Mr. Yauch. You were one fun guy.
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
Hard-Boiled Gazetteer to Country Noir, by Bill Ott
THE DEVIL'S RIGHT HAND gets a shout out from Booklist's Bill Ott in the article Hard-Boiled Gazetteer to Country Noir in Booklist Online:
This supercharged crime-fiction debut, in which bounty hunter Jack Keller, a Gulf War vet with a head full of nightmares, tracks a couple of dumb and dumber ex-cons, is the narrative equivalent of a string of homemade bombs timed to explode at random along the North Carolina back roads. Like Stephen Hunter’s Dirty White Boys, however, this is not simply a car chase with fireworks; Rhoades builds his rampaging white boys from the ground up, and Keller is the kind of flawed noir hero whom women want to nurse, cops want to bust, and bad guys want to hurt.
The article also features Elmore Leonard, Frank Bill, and a lot of other people who I am humbly honored to be numbered among. Check it out. And thanks, Bill!
Get The Devil's Right Hand, at Amazon.com
This supercharged crime-fiction debut, in which bounty hunter Jack Keller, a Gulf War vet with a head full of nightmares, tracks a couple of dumb and dumber ex-cons, is the narrative equivalent of a string of homemade bombs timed to explode at random along the North Carolina back roads. Like Stephen Hunter’s Dirty White Boys, however, this is not simply a car chase with fireworks; Rhoades builds his rampaging white boys from the ground up, and Keller is the kind of flawed noir hero whom women want to nurse, cops want to bust, and bad guys want to hurt.
The article also features Elmore Leonard, Frank Bill, and a lot of other people who I am humbly honored to be numbered among. Check it out. And thanks, Bill!
Get The Devil's Right Hand, at Amazon.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)