Monday, July 31, 2006

Damn Liberals Are Ruining Everything

Yahoo! News: LONDON (Reuters) - An English fishing town has banned the sport of conger cuddling after an animal activist complained.

The tradition, once described as the most fun a person could have with a dead fish, involves one team trying to hit another with a conger eel tied to a rope.

It was popular in Lyme Regis on England's south coast and used as a fund-raising event for the local lifeboat.

But the sport has now been banned after an animal rights activist complained that it was 'disrespectful' to dead fish and threatened to campaign against the event. Animal activists have a reputation for radical action in Britain.

I'm not sure I want to live in a world where they've banned hitting people with an eel tied to a rope.

13 comments:

  1. Damn it all, next thing you know they'll outlaw the annual frozen mullet toss at the Flori-Bama bar.

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  2. Damn! And here I thought I wanted to move to England. My hopes and dreams have been dashed.

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  3. Dusty, if you say anything here about slipping Tasha your dead eel it will be in bad form...

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  4. Dusty, if you say anything here about slipping Tasha your dead eel it will be in bad form...

    Damn.

    Ah well. That's a-moray.

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  5. A long-standing tradition at Maine fairs was playing bingo with cow shit. Cow-chip bingo. I kid you not. A patch of grass was divided into squares and a cow was turned loose. Bets were placed as to which square the cow would plaster.

    That majestic game, once the sport of kings, came to an end a few years ago when PETA whined that the cows were being exploited.

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  6. "That majestic game, once the sport of kings, came to an end a few years ago when PETA whined that the cows were being exploited."

    No shit? really?

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  7. See, it's this kind of shit that gives us a bad name.

    Cow chip bingo exploitive? Disrespecting dead eels?

    Someone needs to slap these assholes upside the head with a trout.

    Live or dead, I don't much give a fuck.

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  8. If hitting people with dead marine creatures is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.

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  9. Amen, Nathan!

    Dusty, did you see Kristy's answers to your questions?

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  10. What's next? Cod tossing? Kitten juggling? Trout defiling?!

    Where will the madness end, damn you? Where?!

    We must stop this insanity now. Just think, soon this will move onto dwarf wrangling, octopus rodeo. You may think that dead tree frog spitting is safe, but noooo. They'll go after them next.

    So join up in the cause and help us crush this craziness before it gets out of hand. If each of you could see your way to send me a certified check for $500.00 we can get this mess of ridiculous legislation destroyed before it reaches our bastion of freedom and deomcracy here in America.

    Five hundred dollars is a small price to pay to keep the joys and wonders of midget rodeo available to all, don't you think?

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  11. Does this mean I have to throw out my favorite metaphor for less than pleasant experiences (e.g., "It's better than getting hit in the face with a dead fish.")?

    I mean, I'm a sensitive guy, you know, and liberal, too, and this could ruin my reputation.

    By the way, the bullshit bingo isn't the worst that's done with animal crap. There are places were chickens are used, and defecation by the chicken encouraged by, uh, introducing sufficient quantities of air into the appropriate orifice.

    Puts a whole new icky spin on "when chickens have lips", I'll tell you.

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