Latte Is The New Teleprompter

The Pilot Newspaper: Opinion

Once again, the shrieking outrage over a photograph of President Barack Obama saluting with a cup of coffee in his hand as he steps off Marine One reveals that there is nothing too small or trivial but that the American right won’t throw a giant hissy fit over it.

It’s all very amusing — until you realize what it says about the state of right-wing thinking.

By now, I’m sure you’ve seen the photo: President Obama, on his way to the U.N., stepping off the helicopter, flanked by saluting Marines on either side. He has his coat slung over one arm and is returning the salute with, horror of horrors, a cup in his hand.

Of course, the right-wing hysteria machine, apparently made up of people who have nothing better to do than comb through every photograph of the president looking for something to be apoplectic about, leapt immediately into action.

“How disrespectful was that?” Republican strategist Karl Rove asked. Half-Term Governor Sarah Palin mocked Obama’s lack of military service in a speech to a “Christian values” convention, a speech in which she also identified the president’s home address as “1400 Pennsylvania Avenue” — actually the address of a park next to the historic Willard Hotel. (It should be noted that neither Rove nor Palin served in the military.)

The National Republican Senatorial Committee even created a website — yes, an entire website — to protest.

Thing is, the president isn’t required to salute at all, and in this situation probably shouldn’t have. According to the regulations published by the Department of the Army (and available online), a salute isn’t required when “carrying articles with both hands” and “when either the senior or the subordinate is wearing civilian clothes.”

In addition, for 192 years of our nation’s history, presidents (including war heroes like Ulysses S. Grant, Teddy Roosevelt and Dwight D. Eisenhower) didn’t return the salute at all. The practice originally started with Ronald Reagan, who apparently ran around saluting everything in a uniform.

When a Marine aide let him know that that wasn’t standard protocol, Reagan went to the commandant of the Marine Corps, who told him, “You’re the [bad word] president. You can salute whoever you want.”

Of course, you can just imagine the howling that would have ensued if Obama hadn’t saluted at all. Or if, like the President Who Must Not Be Named, he was photographed, several times, saluting while holding his Scottish terrier in one hand. That’s different, we’re told by the Raging Right. Because — just because it is, OK?

So what next? Will Darell Issa convene hearings on “Latte-gate?” Will there be subpoenas demanding to know if the president took cream or sugar, and if so, was it an American brand? Will there be a breathless (and quickly debunked) expose on “60 Minutes”?

“Tonight on ‘60 Minutes,’ some guy you’ve never heard of who claims to have been a barista on Marine One has written a book in which he details his harrowing experiences on Sept. 23, 2014. He tells us how he would have heroically taken the cup from the president’s hand himself, but received a ‘stand down order’ for some reason we don’t know, but which we know is somehow Obama’s fault. I’m Lara Logan, and am as baffled as you are as to why I still have a job.”

More likely, “latte” will became the new “teleprompter”: a word wingnuts randomly drop into any conversation about the president in an attempt to craft a clever insult that only serves to point out how mindless and ill-informed the person delivering it actually is.

Example: “Wow, did you hear some guy jumped the fence and broke into the White House?” “Yeah, Obama was so surprised he nearly dropped his latte. Get it? Latte! HAW HAW HAW!”

It’s important, the wingnuts say, because it shows a pattern. They’re right, but not in the way they think. The real pattern is this: The right has certain narratives, certain themes they cling to. In this case, the theme is “Obama hates the military.” This is patently absurd, as anyone outside the right-wing anti-information bubble knows. But the truth doesn’t matter to these people. Any information that contradicts the narrative is rejected. Anything they come across, no matter how minor, is warped to fit the theme.

Fix the facts around the theory, instead of the other way around. Sound familiar? That’s the right-wing mindset that got us into the Iraq War. And that’s where it stops being amusing.

An Open Letter to Mr. Obama

 Pilot Newspaper: Opinion

Dear Mr. President:

I heard recently that you plan to delay any executive action on immigration, such as delaying deportation of child refugees, until after the November elections — this in spite of your stated intention earlier to do something by the “end of the summer.”

I’m sure your advisers told you that this would be a smart political move. You may even believe it yourself. Well, they’re wrong, and so are you if you buy into that.

Oh, sure, it’s true that some of the more hotly contested races that could determine control of the Senate are in so-called “red” states. I know it looks like a bad idea to rile up the Republican “base” of xenophobes, bigots, Fox News-addicted outrage junkies, and various other angry, frightened old white dudes. My stars, taking executive action might even upset them enough to get to the polls to vote against Democrats.

But here’s the thing, Mr. President: They’re going to get riled up no matter what you do or don’t do. Riled up is their default state. They’ve been in a state of apoplectic rage since Nov. 4, 2008, when you sent the poster child for angry old white dudes and his empty-headed snowbilly running mate packing.

It only got worse four years later, when their supposed savior, Lord Mitt Romney, couldn’t get out of the way of his own feet and stumbled to a humiliating loss that everyone except them could see coming. All you have to do to upset the Republican base and get them to the polls is be a black Democrat in the White House.

You don’t believe me when I say that trying not to upset the Raging Right is a sucker’s game? Check out Newt Gingrich, who went on CNN’s “State of the Union” to call you “cowardly” and “indecisive” for delaying taking action on immigration.

Of course, no one on the program bothered to point out that on Aug. 3, Newt called such action “unconstitutional” and an example of “the Venezuelan-style, anything-I-want-is-legal presidency.”

Look at the House, where the speaker, John Boehner, urged you to act on immigration “without the need for congressional action,” the day after his caucus voted to sue you for acting without congressional action — to delay implementation of a law that they repeatedly voted to repeal.

You cannot placate these people. You cannot calm them down, especially since there’s a billion-dollar industry dedicated to keeping them angry and so afraid of everything that they’re convinced that they’ll be robbed, raped or killed if they don’t have a gun on them every time they leave the house.

Instead of trying to soothe the Republican base, why don’t you pay some attention to your own? You seem so worried at the prospect of right-wingers going to the polls that you’re forgetting the people you need to go there.

Latinos, of course, are the fastest growing demographic in the nation. You also need to get young people fired up. But what I’m hearing from them is a growing sense of frustration, complaints that “politicians are all the same,” and a general apathy about voting.

Dems will probably still get a goodly portion of the female vote, but that’s mainly because several Republicans will inevitably say something incredibly stupid, misogynistic, or patronizing toward women before it’s over. But we need the rest of the constituency, too. So now is not the time for half-measures.

I know, Mr. President, that you’re called “No Drama Obama.” But maybe it’s time for something dramatic. For starters, use the power you have as the executive to delay or defer the deportation of refugee children.

For all the caterwauling about “tyranny” (which, remember, they’re going to do anyway), that power falls squarely within the scope of what’s called “prosecutorial discretion”: the recognition that you simply don’t have unlimited resources to prosecute every law, all the time, so the executive branch can allocate those resources as it sees fit. Prosecutorial discretion has long been recognized by the courts as a legitimate use of executive power.

The Teahadists have threatened impeachment if you try that? Let ’em bring it. Lawsuits? Bring those on, too.

Iowa Rep. Steve King has raised the idea of another government shutdown in protest if you take executive action. Tell him, “Please proceed, Congressman.” Because if there’s one thing that will get wavering Democrats and independents off the couch and into the voting booths, it’ll be the spectacle of the wingnuts once again waving their torches and pitchforks and threatening to destroy the country in order to save it.

So do the right thing, Mr. President, and dare the Republicans to do something about it. Thank you, and God bless.

The Best Show On Right Now

     Today's column (once again, not online at the paper's website until probably tomorrow)

    I heard the rumble of the truck in the yard, followed by the squeal and hiss of air brakes. I was up out of the recliner and ready to meet the delivery guy when he knocked on the door.
      “Hey,” I said, “you got here just in time. I was about to run out.”
     He looked at the clipboard in his hand and his brow furrowed in confusion. “Wait, this isn’t a movie theater?”
     “Nope,” I said. “This is my house. What made you think it was a theater?”
     “Well,” he said, “you’ve ordered an entire tractor trailer load of popcorn. And it says here, you got another one last week.”
     “Yep,” I replied.
     “You really eat all that popcorn?”
     “Buddy, if you were watching a show like I’m watching, you’d be chomping down a lot of the stuff too.”
     “What show?” he said. “Survivor? Duck Dynasty? House Hunters International?”
     “Nope, nope, and nope. Much bigger than that.”
     “American Idol?”
     “Even bigger. I’m watching the civil war in the Republican Party.”
     “The what?”
     “Remember last year? The election?”
     He grimaced. “Don’t remind me.”
     “Remember how the Republicans were so sure they were going to win? And how shocked they all were when Mitt Romney got his butt kicked by a guy they insisted nobody liked?”
     “Yeah.”
     “Well, ever since,” I said, “they’ve been sniping at each other, pointing fingers, trying to make someone else take the blame. One wing of the party demands change, another demands that they double down on the crazy.”
     He looked dubious. “And you’re enjoying this.”
     “You bet I am!” I said. “The Tea Party blames the ‘establishment’ for not nominating candidates bat-spit crazy enough to make them happy. The ‘establishment’ big shots like Karl Rove blame the Tea Partiers for driving away women, gays, lesbians, Latinos, African Americans, and pretty much anyone not a right wing nut case. Rove even started a new political action committee called the ‘Conservative Victory Project’, to try and boost non-Tea Party candidates so the Republicans wouldn’t have another debacle like the ones they had with Richard Mourdock. Or Todd Akin. Or Sharron Angle. Or Christine O’Donnell.”
     “Come on,” he said, “I can’t believe it’s that bad. Didn’t Ronald Regan used to say that the 11th Commandment was not to speak ill of other Republicans?”
     “I see you know your history, my friend. But that principle fell by the wayside long ago. Come see.” I stepped aside and let him in. “Check this out,” I said, sitting down at the computer and calling up a website. “Remember Sarah Palin?”
     “Didn’t she have a reality show?”
     “No, before that. She ran for Vice President.”
     “Oh, yeah. So what’s she doing now?”
     I clicked on a YouTube video. “Watch.”
     An image of Governor Palin appeared, standing behind a podium. “This is a speech she gave at the Conservative Political Action Conference last week.” I turned the audio up. 



     “If these experts who keep losing elections and keep getting rehired and raking in millions,” Palin said, “if they feel that strongly about who gets to run in this party, then they should buck up or stay in the truck. Buck up and run.” The audience cheered. She smirked. “The architects can head on back." The cheers redoubled.
     “Wait,” the delivery guy said, “Wasn’t Karl Rove called ‘the architect’?”
     “You’re quite well informed for a deliveryman,” I observed. “But yes.”
     “Nice slam there. So what did Rove say?”
     I clicked on another link. This one showed Rove on “Fox News Sunday,” saying “If I did run for office and win, I would serve out my term. I wouldn’t quit mid-term.”
     “Ohhhh, SNAP!” the delivery guy said. “He just burned her, but good.”
     “See what I’m saying?” I said. “Is this a great show or what?” 
     “I get it,” he said. “But really, is this infighting good for the country? I mean, sure, it’s entertaining, but don’t we need at least two viable parties?”
     “Hmmm…” I said. “You might have a point, Mr…what was your name again?”
     “You tell me,” he said. “I’m a figment of your imagination.”
     Suddenly I sat up in my chair, blinking. I realized I’d been dreaming. I looked at the computer screen, where I’d been looking at a news story about a website called primarymycongressman.com. It was sponsored by the conservative Club For Growth “to raise awareness of Republicans In Name Only (RINOs) who are currently serving in safe Republican seats.”
     I looked at the empty bowl on the table beside the computer. This called for more popcorn.
    
     Dusty Rhoades lives, writes, and practices law in Carthage.
    

Sarah Failin'?

Latest Newspaper Column- The Pilot

Say it ain't so, Sarah!

A recent story in this newspaper about the Moore County Republican Convention noted that former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney "soared to the top Saturday" in the convention's "straw vote." Receiving only a "sprinkling" of votes were Mike Huckabee, Newt Gingrich, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie - and Sarah Palin.

Only a "sprinkling" for Caribou Barbie? This seemed ominous to me, as it should to anyone aspiring to commit acts of political humor.

Then it got worse. According to an ABC News/Washington Post poll released last week, St. Sarah of the Snows suffers from slipping favorability ratings. Only 58 percent of "Republicans and Republican-leaning independents" viewed her favorably.

This might not seem too bad, until you remember that right after Honorable John McCain picked the Wasilla Whiner to corral the all important drama-queen and grievance-junkie vote, those same voters had her favorability rating up to a whopping 88 percent. As recently as October, according to a story in the Christian Science Monitor, the Resigning Woman's favorability rating among those voters was 70 percent.

Most tragically, a recent front-page article on Politico.com lined up a veritable Who's Who of conservative pundits - George Will, Charles Krauthammer, Weekly Standard writer Matt Labash and others, to turn and rend the Quitta From Wasilla like a pack of wolves who've just noticed that one of their own has come up limping.

"She's becoming Al Sharpton, Alaska edition," Labash sniped, citing Palin's "frequent appeals to victimhood and group grievance."

Krauthammer piled on: "When populism becomes purely anti-intellectual, it can become unhealthy and destructive."

Asked if the GOP would remain the party of ideas if Palin captures the nomination, Will said: "The answer is emphatically no." (Somebody probably needs to tell Mr. Will: That horse left the barn a while ago.)

So is Palin's star fading in the political firmament? Are all but the most die-hard Palindrones suffering from Palin Fatigue? I sincerely hope not. That would be a disaster.

Why, you may ask, am I so unhappy about this? Don't I loathe Sarah Palin?

Nothing could be further from the truth, actually. I need Sarah Palin. I depend on her. She's an unending source of quality material.

Oh, sure, you've got your B-list wackjobs like Sharron Angle or up-and comers like Michelle "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann. But for a column that just writes itself, all I have to do is wait for Mama Grizzly to open her mouth and let the comedy ore tumble out, ready to be refined into gold.

Not only is a Palin column easy to write, I can always depend on those lovely folks in the Party of Love to whip themselves into a hate-frenzy and put those all important eyeballs on the page. As an experiment, I recently went back through some old columns on this newspaper's website and checked the reactions I got to columns that mentioned the Snowbilly Princess, as measured by comments on the column. The results were illuminating,

One on Jan. 9 entitled "Palin's Latest Weird Tangent" got 152 comments. A Jan. 16 offering called "Violent Talk in the Cross Hairs" mentioned Palin prominently. Result: 77 comments. Jan 23's "Everybody's a Drama Queen" made a passing reference to Palin's "Death Panel" lie and got 43 comments. But look at Jan. 30: "We Have Met the Enemy and He Is Us. " No Palin mention. 17 comments. Even I can do the math, if it's simple enough.

Said comments, by the way, usually include at least one instance of the tired old whine: "Why are you always picking on Sarah Palin?" The answer is: Never let it be said I don't know what the people like when it comes to getting their rage on.

If Sarah Palin slips back into the obscurity from whence she came, I don't know what I'll do. I was depending on her to at least make a run for the GOP nomination. Because if she did - well, it would just be a matter of time.

Palin's the most thin-skinned politician in America. Somewhere along the campaign trail, someone will say something she deems offensive, probably to one of her kids, and the resulting meltdown will be epic. It'll make Charlie Sheen's manic orgy of self-aggrandizement look like a mild case of coffee jitters.

Well, we live in hope.

Palin's Latest Weird Tangent

Latest Newspaper Column

Does Sarah Palin want American kids to be fat? It might seem like it, considering her reaction to First Lady Michelle Obama's recent campaign against childhood obesity.

Obama, among others, supported legislation for healthier food choices in schools and praised parents for thinking about what kinds of foods their kids stuff down their greedy little pie-holes (I'm paraphrasing, of course). In a speech advocating good nutrition, she noted that she tells her children "dessert is not a right" and makes them eat balanced meals.

This, to the half-term governor of Alaska, is apparently some sort of harbinger of commie-socialist-Islamo-fascism. Or something. Whatever she thinks it is, she's served it up as her resentment du jour.

On a recent episode of her reality show, "Sarah Palin's Alaska," the Resigning Woman made a big ol' helping of s'mores. And since Palin is incapable of missing a chance to turn even a sweet gesture into an opportunity for sneering, she told the recipients the s'mores were "in honor of Michelle Obama, who said the other day we should not have dessert."

Obama, it should be noted, never said any such thing. But Palin is, after all, the woman who railed against nonexistent "death panels" during the health care debate, so we already know she has, let's just say, a flexible approach to the truth.

Palin continued her media snit when she went on Laura Ingraham's radio program: "What [Obama] is telling us is she cannot trust parents to make decisions for their own children, for their own families in what we should eat."

Again, this is exactly the opposite of what Obama has actually said, which is: "We know that ensuring that kids eat right and stay active is ultimately the responsibility of parents more than anyone else," and further, that "parents have a right to expect that their efforts at home won't be undone each day in the school cafeteria or in the vending machine in the hallway."

To Sarah Palin, however, anything any Obama is in favor of, even healthy food, is something EEEvil, to be opposed with all her might and main, and one doesn't quibble over little details like the truth when one is fighting EEEvil.

Remember first lady Laura Bush's ongoing campaigns for literacy? Good thing she wasn't a Democrat, I guess, or Mama Grizzly'd be going on Sean Hannity, lying that Mrs. Bush was trying to "tell us what we had to read" and burning books.

It seems, though, that Mama Grizzly may have just gone a little too far for even some members of her own party, such as Mike Huckabee, another former governor and potential presidential candidate. He told a radio talk show host, "Michelle Obama's not trying to tell people what to eat or not trying to force the government's desires on people. She's stating the obvious, that we do have an obesity problem in this country."

Huck should know; he himself dropped an astounding 110 pounds after his doctors told him he was going to die if he didn't. Nevertheless, wingnut blogger Ann Althouse, showing the class for which the far right is so well known, sniped at Huckabee for daring to criticize St. Sarah of the Snows by playing the Fat Card: "He's running [for president] against Sarah Palin. ... Ironically, Sarah Palin is the one who's thin."

Well, Ms. Althouse, Huckabee's the one who actually finished a full term as governor without quitting, so what's your point?

Mississippi's Haley Barbour, (another Republican governor who, unlike Palin, managed to finish his job) also praised Obama's efforts, as did former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum, who called those efforts "a proper role for the first lady."

Meanwhile, Ben Smith at the website Politico.com has pointed out that, in her 2009 State of the State address, Palin seemed to be extolling the same things that Michelle Obama did, like nutrition and exercise.

So the answer to the question at the top of the column is: No, Sarah Palin does not want American kids to be fat. She's just a small and petty person, an unprincipled demagogue, a political hack who's willing to lie and even to contradict herself to avoid admitting that any Democrat, especially an Obama, might have a valid point about anything.

RUN, SARAH, RUN!

Palin lashes out at `Family Guy' - Yahoo! News

Sarah Palin is lashing out at the portrayal of a character with Down syndrome on the Fox animated comedy "Family Guy."

In a Facebook posting headlined "Fox Hollywood — What a Disappointment," the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee and current Fox News contributor said Sunday night's episode felt like "another kick in the gut." Palin's youngest son, Trig, has Down syndrome.

Seriously. She gets this upset over a stupid joke on Family Guy? Yes, it's cruel, yes it's offensive, but its' a stupid TV show.

This sort of thing is why I really wish that Caribou Barbie makes good on her threat to run for President. She is easily the most thin-skinned politician on the national stage. She cannot lay her head down at night until she's found someone or something that she thinks is insulting to poor Trig (or Bristol, or whoever) and then try to blow it up into a national scandal. Even her resignation speech when she quit the Alaska governorship cold be shortened to "people are mean to me and my family, so I quit, Nyaah." It plays well to those whose entire political philosophy is based on resentment, but as the man once said, "politics ain't beanbag."

I guarantee that, if she does run, someone will say something to set her off. It's how presidential campaigns are. Jesus, they questioned Obama's faith, his patriotism, his very citizenship, and wingnut blogs were posting pictures of Michelle Photoshopped to look like a character from Planet of the Apes. If Palin gets a tenth of that kind of flak, she will crack like an egg. She will then have a messy and very public meltdown that will drive away everyone but the most fanatical Palindrones.

So...RUN, SARAH, RUN!

Here, Trollie Trollie Trollie....

Boy, nothing brings out the anonymous trolls like making fun of the Wasilla Hillbilly, does it?

Sorry, guys, I hate to break it to you: no matter how many starbursts you think she's winkin' your way, no matter how many times you tell yourselves you're defending the honor of your Redneck Prom Queen, she's not going to sleep with you. Especially since none of you have the balls to take responsibility for your words.

But here's a little more troll bait:



And here's a news flash, because you people are as predictable as the sunrise, and I know what cliche is struggling to get out of your heads right now: mocking someone does not mean you're "afraid of them."

It means they think you're a joke.

Sarah Palin Better Get Busy

Latest Newspaper Column

Recently, The Wall Street Journal reported that White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, in a private meeting last August, referred to liberal opponents of President Obama's health-care plan as "[bad word] retarded."

Well, Sarah Palin, former Alaska governor, failed vice-presidential candidate and soon-to-be Fox News commentator, wasn't going to take that lying down, you betcha. Palin (who, you might remember, has a son with Down syndrome), quickly leapt to her recent political forum of choice, i.e., her Facebook page, to call for Emanuel's resignation immediately, if not sooner.

"I would ask the president to show decency in this process by -eliminating one member of that inner circle, Mr. Rahm Emanuel, and not allow Rahm's continued indecent tactics to cloud efforts," Palin wrote.

Emanuel apologized for his comment, but that wasn't enough for Palin, who wrote: "Just as we'd be appalled if any public figure of Rahm's stature ever used the 'N-word' or other such inappropriate language, Rahm's slur on all God's children with cognitive and developmental disabilities - and the people who love them - is unacceptable, and it's heartbreaking."

Doggone right. I'm glad to see that Gov. Palin is taking a stand against the use of the word "retarded" to describe liberals. I look forward to her demand for the immediate firing of conservative radio host Michael Savage, who is constantly referring on his show to "liberal retards."

I also look forward to her calling for the immediate banning from the airwaves of conservative pundit Ann Coulter, who once wrote of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, "Is no one going to remark on what a great country it is where a mentally retarded woman can become speaker of the House?"

Coulter is actually pretty fond of using the word; she referred to talk show host Bill Maher's audience as "MoveOn retards." And in an interview on Fox News' Sean Hannity program, she referred to former Bush Press Secretary Scott McClellan as "retarded." "It's not offensive, it's accurate," Coulter insisted when challenged on it by allegedly liberal co-host Alan Colmes.

Hannity, it should be noted, never said a mumblin' word. So maybe Ms. Palin should be calling for his resignation, too.

Then there's bowtied Fox News commentator Tucker Carlson, who's referred to Canada as "America's retarded cousin" not once, but twice. There's also frequently utilized wingnut talking head Dick Morris, who, after he got fired from the Clinton administration for letting hookers listen in on his phone calls to the White House, became the go-to guy for anyone who wanted a sound bite bashing the Clintons, Barack Obama or any Democrat.

Morris, on Fox's "The O'Reilly Factor," criticized Obama's stimulus package by saying: "What he didn't quite explain to me - and maybe I'm a little retarded about this - is how are you going to get banks to give people car loans when the government is elbowing them aside?"

I'm sure Gov. Palin missed that slur, but now that it's been called to her attention, I'm sure she'll be calling for Dick Morris to be banned from Fox. It's going to get pretty lonely on that channel, but it's a small price to pay to defend against those who slur "God's children with cognitive and developmental disabilities."

While we're at it, I look forward to Ms. Palin expressing her outrage at every conservative blogger who's ever used the word "libtard" (a combination of the words "liberal" and "retard") to describe anyone to the left of themselves. A quick Google search of the Republican Web site "Redstate" for the word "libtard", for example, turned up five long pages of hits.

And on Facebook, where the Resigning Woman is so fond of holding court, there are groups called "Al Gore is Retarded," "Liberals are Retarded," "Hollywood Is Full of Retarded Liberals," etc. Fortunately, since there's an easy way to ask for the administrators of Facebook to remove offensive groups, she can take a stand right away. There are only about 500 Facebook groups that use the word "retarded" in their names, so it shouldn't take more than a week or so.

If she's going to go after everyone who ever referred to liberals as "retarded," Ms. Palin had better get busy. But I know she will. Because if she's only upset by the use of the word "retarded" when a Democrat uses it, her outrage might seem, shall we say, a bit selective, even a bit hypocritical. And we know she's not a hypocrite, right?

Right?

It's Only Treason When Liberals Do it

d r i f t g l a s s:

On Sarah Palin's speech to a group of 'high-flying global investors" in Hong Kong:

She didn't refer to President Barack Obama by name, the Wall Street Journal reported, but said she called his campaign promises "nebulous, utopian sounding... Now 10 months later, though, a lot of Americans are asking: more government? Is that the change we want?"

Some attendees were disappointed by her focus on her home state and her attacks on President Obama.

"Driftglass" notes:

...as all of you who escaped our nation's 25-year-long Conservative prefrontal Limbaughtomy remember, six short years ago when a singer blurted out a dozen unprepared words dissing George W. Bush at a concert in London (or, as wingnuts always ominously intone "On Foreign Soil!"), the Right absolutely lost its collective shit.

There were marches. Vigils. Coast-to-coast Hate Radio rants. A virtual embargo on playing the music of "The Dixie Chicks" anywhere in this Home of the Brave...

But while I might not care what the Wasilla Grifter has to say about anything, anywhere, every single fucking Conservative who pretended to be standing on righteous principle when they went full DEFCON 1 monkeyshit in 2003, and who now stays silent or cheers Caribou Barbie on needs to have their voter registration card confiscated and ceremonially burned atop a pyre of Tobie Keith records.

For starters.

Damn Skippy. Here's a little remembrance from the Dixie Chicks:

They Have Become That Which They Used to Mock

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Remember when former Gov. Sarah Palin implored the press, for the sake of the troops, to "stop makin' things up"?

Well, the Resigning Woman apparently has already forgotten, because when it came to the health-care debate, she has gone and made up a doozy.

"The America I know and love," she claimed, "is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil."

Such a system is also a complete fabrication.

Nowhere, in any bill before Congress, or in any health-care proposal being seriously considered by anyone, is there any kind of proposal for any kind of panel that requires someone to prove their "level of productivity in society" to get medical care.

Palin also seems to have forgotten how much she hates her kids being brought into the spotlight, because she's sure not shy anymore about waving little Trig over her head like a bloody shirt to stir up people's emotions.

And stir them up she has, along with the noise machine comprising Fox News and the right-wing blogosphere. People have been showing up at town hall meetings on the health-care issue, not to debate, but to disrupt the meetings and shout down representatives and senators trying to talk about the proposal currently before Congress.

Some of them are sort of amusing, like the old dude who showed up loudly demanding that the federal government "keep its hands out of Medicare." Others, less amusing, have showed up armed. There have been at least three guns seized so far at meetings attended by President Obama, one taken from a man named William Kostric who showed up with a big pistol strapped to his hip and sign that said "It's Time to Water the Tree of Liberty."

If you're not familiar with the reference, it's a quote from Thomas Jefferson, and the "water" that Jefferson speaks of is "the blood of tyrants and patriots." But I'm sure Mr. Kostric just showed up to have an honest dialogue. I'm equally sure anyone who'd like to sit down and debate this column with me won't mind if I strap a big ol' hogleg revolver to my hip and carry a sign saying "Wingnut Tastes Just Like Chicken" to the meeting.

It's funny. I also seem to re-call a time when the worst thing you could say about a politician, or about anyone's politics in general, was that they were "angry." Howard Dean, they said, was "unelectable" because oh my stars, he was so angry!

All during the Bush years, the so-called "liberal" media tut-tutted over the "Angry Left," (with the "Left" being flexibly defined as anyone who deviated from the worship of the Dear Leader George W. Bush). Sean Hannity, in particular, is fond of piously denouncing that "angry left" and asserting that he "absorbs their hate" for you. What a guy.

I remember a lot of hand-wringing over leftist groups like Code Pink, whose members would show up at hearings and holler before they were hauled off by security. And yet red-faced, near-apoplectic screaming, when done by people who hate the current president, is just "ordinary Americans exercising their First Amendment rights."

From the "birthers" who assert, despite all evidence, that Barack Obama isn't an American citizen, to the "teabaggers" who assert that a 35.0 percent top tax rate under Bush is sound fiscal policy but a proposed bump to 39.5 percent in that rate is, literally, the greatest tyranny since Hitler, to the town hall protesters who strap guns to their hips and scream about mythical "death panels" at meetings on health-care reform, the American Right has apparently, decided to turn itself into exactly the kind of angry, strident, racial-identity-obsessed, hysterically paranoid fringe that they once accused the Left of being.

And it's OK for them to do it, they tell us, because some "leftist" did it once. But it's still not OK that a leftist did it. That's right-wing logic for you.

Sarah Palin Is Lying

Former Governor Palin:

The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's "death panel" so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their "level of productivity in society," whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.

FACT CHECK No death panel in health care bill:

Nothing in the legislation would carry out such a bleak vision. The provision that has caused the uproar would instead authorize Medicare to pay doctors for counseling patients about end-of-life care, if the patient wishes. Here are some questions and answers on the controversy:

Q: Does the health care legislation bill promote "mercy killing," or euthanasia?

A: No.

More at the link.

Let us repeat: there is nothing whatsoever in this bill or in any health care bill currently being considered that can even be interpreted to create any sort of "death panel" or any mechanism that assesses a person's "level of productivity in society" to determine if they get medical care.

When people talk about the current political climate, they often bemoan the lack of "civility" in discourse,. In fact, Governor Palin herself, after her outrageous falsehood, has called for more "civility" in the health care debate.

But con artists like Caribou Barbie exploit good people's natural reluctance to call a lie a lie in order to run their con game. They know that nice people hate to go up to someone, even someone telling the most egregious lie, and go "you know what? You're lying." They depend on it.

Well, I'm not a nice person. And I'll come right out and say it:

Sarah Palin is lying. She is lying to try to scare people away from health care reform. She is lying becuase, if she told the actual truth about health care reform, she knows people would probably support it. She cannot win the debate with the truth, so she lies. She lies shamelessly and in such a way as to insult the intelligence of Americans. And, after moaning and whining about people talking about her family, she holds up her Down's syndrome baby like a bloody shirt because she thinks it'll make people all teary eyed and more reluctant to call her on her bullshit.

This is such a transparent lie that it shows her utter contempt for her supporters. She's treating you like rubes. Like marks. Like sheep who can be herded into the shearing pen and fleeced at leisure. She thinks you're all too stupid to question her.

And this is the person being touted as the GOP's next Presidential candidate? She is despicable.

Sauce for The Goose

Judging from the comments and nutty e-mails I've gotten, the current wingnut whine on the birth certificate issue is, apparently, about the "long form" birth certificate, the one filled out in the hospital at birth. "Why doesn't he release it, what is he hiding, etc."

This begs the question: why the hell should Obama release something that NO OTHER PRESIDENT OR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE HAS EVER, IN THE HISTORY OF THE US, HAD TO RELEASE? And, as I've pointed out, something that neither I nor my children has ever had to track down and produce. Obama should have to cough his up because some nutcase on the Internet, with no evidence whatsoever, has said "I don't think he's a citizen?"

Okay, fine. As a nutcase on the Internet, I question Sarah Palin's citizenship. She was, after all, born within a stone's throw, apparently, of a foreign country. I heard a rumor somewhere that she was born on a fishing boat outside the 3-mile limit. I have no real basis to believe it's true, but this whole thing can be cleared up if she'd just produce the certificate, and an Affidavit from the doctors, and some delivery room photos, also.

Therefore, I demand that Sarah Palin release her full birth certificate from Alaska, and Trig's too, while we're at it, since there've been Internet rumors about him.

If you're going to let nutty rumors and partisan smears be the triggering event for when someone has to release personal records, then so be it. Be ready for the consequences.

C'mon, Sarah. Let's see 'em. What are you hiding?

Shatner Reads From the Meditations of St. Sarah

Okay, it's no "Rocket Man," but it's pretty damn funny.

Extra link here.

Thanks to alert reader Celine for the heads up.

Another Liberal Attacks Poor Sarah Palin

What America Hating Elitist Said This About St. Sarah?

In television interviews she was out of her depth in a shallow pool. She was limited in her ability to explain and defend her positions, and sometimes in knowing them. She couldn't say what she read because she didn't read anything. She was utterly unconcerned by all this and seemed in fact rather proud of it: It was evidence of her authenticity. She experienced criticism as both partisan and cruel because she could see no truth in any of it. She wasn't thoughtful enough to know she wasn't thoughtful enough. Her presentation up to the end has been scattered, illogical, manipulative and self-referential to the point of self-reverence. "I'm not wired that way," "I'm not a quitter," "I'm standing up for our values." I'm, I'm, I'm.

In another age it might not have been terrible, but here and now it was actually rather horrifying.

No fair peeking...so who said it?

Wingnut Logic, Wasilla Style

Criticizing a bubble-headed beauty queen for her public stance on gay marriage: A violation of said bubble-head's First Amendment Rights.

Threatening to sue bloggers and journalists who speculate about your bizarre and vaguely explained abdication of your elected office: A-OK, you betcha!

Governor Wilma needs to read her Constitution, not to mention New York Times vs. Sullivan.

This Independence Day weekend, remember to be thankful for the electoral process that kept this crazy person from being a heartbeat away from the Presidency. And be thankful as well that we don't have someone in the White House who'll walk off the job in a huff if some blogger or some Republican says something nasty about a member of his family.

(Warning: some of the stuff at those links is pretty raw. Much, much worse than the photoshop on some Alaskan political blog that apparently helped drive Winky Wilma from office. Said image is apparently some sort of in-joke understood mostly by Alaskans).

UPDATE: Thanks to Oliver Willis, here's a reminder of Governor Palin's advice to Hillary Clinton about unfair criticism: "Plow through! Quit whining!"



Heh.

Palin Failin' ?

The more I think about it, the more this theory that Sarah Palin is stepping down to run for President just doesn't fit. If she was going to do that, one would think it would be better to go out on a high note. And Governor Palin has not, to put it mildly, had a great few weeks. There was a Vanity Fair article that came out in which she was roundly dissed by McCain staffers; several e-mails were released in which she seemed to be lying about the First Dude's involvement with the secessionist Alaska Independence Party and demanding that the campaign do the same; Alaska's state health director resigned, claiming Palin forced her out over social issues; and then there was that stupid feud with David Letterman which, in the final analysis, made her supporters look like a pack of loons and probably hurt Palin more than it did Letterman.

Also, if an announcement was meant to be the springboard for an expanded national presence, one would think that you wouldn't make said announcement on the Friday before a big Federal holiday, which is when you traditionally deliver bad news that you hope gets buried.

No, this doesn't smell like the beginning of a triumphal march. This smells like getting the hell out of Dodge before the sheriff rides in.

Of course, Caribou Barbie hasn't exactly shown herself to be a political genius when it comes to timing. After all, she apparently decided that, at a time when people were scared to death over their financial futures, the smart thing to talk about was what Bill Ayers did in the 60's and who was a "Real American." So for all I know, she may think this is the PERFECT time to bail out of Alaska and hit the campaign trail for 2012.

We also have to consider, though, that Bill Kristol just said of the resignation: "If I had to bet right now, I would bet that we just heard the first opening statement in the 2012 presidential race." And, as all thinking people know, that grinning idiot is always wrong.

Stay tuned...

UPDATE: I have now seen the video of her resignation speech.



Holy shit.

John Cole is right: this is "rambling and disjointed even by Palin’s low standards." There is something seriously weird going on.

"He Will Rape Them With His Mouth!"

It's hard to defend David Letterman's "A-Rod knocked up Sarah Palin's daughter" joke, mainly because it wasn't funny. And the reason it wasn't funny didn't have anything to do with shock or good taste or some hysterical reaction about alleged pedophila. It just wasn't funny.

But this...THIS is funny (After the ad):

Please, Please, Please Stop.

If I see one more headline about Bristol Palin and Levi Wossname's breakup, I am going to go mental or something. Leave the poor kids alone. It's bad enough to go through all that shit when you're barely old enough to drive; making them go through it in the public fishbowl is just unconscionable.

And no, I'm not assigning blame to anyone but the media for this one; Caribou Barbie may have dragged the poor kid into the public eye, then she and John McCain Who Was a POW tried to use her as a human shield, but at this point, it's the media keeping her in it, and for no good reason I can see. As if there ever was one.

Heh.

Looks like Caribou Barbie owes some back taxes of her own.

Like I've been saying, it could happen to anybody. Not that that makes any difference to the wingnuts still yapping about Daschle and Geithner. I'd like to think this would shut them up, but some people are impervious to irony.

Return of the Jed-I: What Sarah Palin Could Learn From the Beverly Hillbillies

Latest newspaper column:

Well, I thought former VP candidate Sarah Palin was going to drop off the radar after the Republicans' disastrous showing in the recent election. Made me kind of sad, really. I haven't had such a reliable source of material for mockery since I discovered PETA.

But it looks like I didn't need to be depressed. Caribou Barbie popped back up recently in an interview in which, in true wingnut fashion, she blamed everyone but herself for the troubles of the McCain campaign. She seems to have a particular ax to grind against Katie Couric.

"Katie," she said, "you're not the center of everyone's universe."

Oh, Mee-yow. In fact, much of the interview sounds the wingnut theme of "yew smart people think yer purty smart, don't yew? Well, yew ain't! So thar!"

The Palin fans still remaining in the Republican Party seem determined to turn the GOP into the anti-smart-people party, because smart people don't cotton to Gov. Palin's "folksy, down-home" style. The Palin Renaissance, however, apparently includes purging even the remaining smart people within the GOP itself.

A recent blog post by right-winger Robert Stacy McCain (who bills himself as "The Other McCain") takes the "conservative intellectuals" within the Republican Party to task: "That born-again, down-to-earth, drawling Texas thing," Other McCain writes, "somehow, it had once made Bush seem like Gary Cooper in "High Noon." But as the disasters mounted and the poll numbers headed southward, that Gary Cooper glow faded and these conservative intellectuals turned on their TVs to behold, with unspeakable horror, President Jethro Bodine."

You know, Other McCain, I'm glad you chose that analogy. Because if there's one thing I know plenty about, it's "The Beverly Hillbillies." I've spent many a happy hour before the tube, ruminating about the wacky Clampett clan and what their popularity tells us about our attitudes toward wealth and class issues. So allow me to retort.

If you're going to use a Beverly Hillbillies-based analogy, Other McCain, you'd be more accurate in saying that with George Dubbya Bush, people thought they were voting for Uncle Jed. Jed may have been uneducated, but he was calm, wise, and a peacemaker at heart. Jed was also a thoughtful man. When he had a difficult problem, he'd sit down and whittle for a spell until he thought of a solution. Jed was a guy you could count on in a crisis.

Unfortunately, what people got with George Dubbya Bush was not Jed, but rather, as Other McCain correctly points out, Jed's nephew Jethro: arrogantly convinced of his own rightness and full of crazy half-baked schemes that he thought were brilliant but which always ended in disaster.

The Other McCain goes on to say that those same "conservative intellectuals" turned on Palin, not because she was a trainwreck of a candidate, but because they were projecting their snotty smart-person disappointments with Bush onto her.

"The conservative intellectuals," he scolds, "looked at her and saw Vice President Ellie May Clampett."

Well, no. Ellie May was noted not only for her hotness, but also for her sweetness. Oh, she could kick the snot out of Jethro if she had to, but mostly she was devoted to the care of her "critters." It's hard to imagine Ellie May talking about someone "pallin' around with terrorists."

Sarah Palin, in contrast, came off as an attack dog. Palin, sad to say, was more like Granny than Ellie May. Granny (aka Daisy Moses, late of Napoleon, Tenn.) was, like Palin, belligerent, prone to dramatics, and shall we say, a little fuzzy on her history. Granny thought the South won the Civil War; Sarah Palin insisted she'd said "no thanks" to the Bridge to Nowhere.

It's important to remember this fact: Granny, like Jethro, rarely if ever prevailed. In fact, most of the show's plots involved Jed trying to mitigate the damage from Jethro and Granny's crazy ideas and antics. And, lest we forget, Jed wasn't above enlisting the help of the only intellectual on the show, the long-suffering Miss Jane.

Here's the secret to that folksy, down-home, unschooled persona: It works only so long as the person exhibits some sort of innate wit or intelligence. It works even better if the apparent simpleton can slip in some zingers that deflate the pompous eggheads.

Look at Ronald Reagan. Reagan could pull off folksy and down-home, despite his years in Hollywood, because (a) as an actor, he actually could think on his feet and come up with the occasional good line, and (b) he had some decent speechwriters for when he couldn't do it on his own.

In short, if you want to learn how to do the down-home folksy thing right as a politician, you definitely should study up on your "Beverly Hillbillies." But you need to be more Jed and less Jethro or Granny. If Sarah Palin had just taken that lesson, she might be a heartbeat away from the presidency today.