The San Jose Mercury News likes BREAKING COVER:
"Breaking Cover," by North Carolina lawyer J.D. Rhoades, is terrific. It kind of eases readers up to the hook like a good fly fisherman, with comfortable opening pages, then yanks the hook deep along about Page 12 or so, and after that the reader is just done for, like a trout dancing in a stream at the end of a long line.
Dance around all you want; you're going to stick with this book, which is a stand-alone from the author of the Jack Keller series.
A big thanks to reviewer John Orr!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Return of the Jed-I: What Sarah Palin Could Learn From the Beverly Hillbillies
Latest newspaper column:
Well, I thought former VP candidate Sarah Palin was going to drop off the radar after the Republicans' disastrous showing in the recent election. Made me kind of sad, really. I haven't had such a reliable source of material for mockery since I discovered PETA.
But it looks like I didn't need to be depressed. Caribou Barbie popped back up recently in an interview in which, in true wingnut fashion, she blamed everyone but herself for the troubles of the McCain campaign. She seems to have a particular ax to grind against Katie Couric.
"Katie," she said, "you're not the center of everyone's universe."
Oh, Mee-yow. In fact, much of the interview sounds the wingnut theme of "yew smart people think yer purty smart, don't yew? Well, yew ain't! So thar!"
The Palin fans still remaining in the Republican Party seem determined to turn the GOP into the anti-smart-people party, because smart people don't cotton to Gov. Palin's "folksy, down-home" style. The Palin Renaissance, however, apparently includes purging even the remaining smart people within the GOP itself.
A recent blog post by right-winger Robert Stacy McCain (who bills himself as "The Other McCain") takes the "conservative intellectuals" within the Republican Party to task: "That born-again, down-to-earth, drawling Texas thing," Other McCain writes, "somehow, it had once made Bush seem like Gary Cooper in "High Noon." But as the disasters mounted and the poll numbers headed southward, that Gary Cooper glow faded and these conservative intellectuals turned on their TVs to behold, with unspeakable horror, President Jethro Bodine."
You know, Other McCain, I'm glad you chose that analogy. Because if there's one thing I know plenty about, it's "The Beverly Hillbillies." I've spent many a happy hour before the tube, ruminating about the wacky Clampett clan and what their popularity tells us about our attitudes toward wealth and class issues. So allow me to retort.
If you're going to use a Beverly Hillbillies-based analogy, Other McCain, you'd be more accurate in saying that with George Dubbya Bush, people thought they were voting for Uncle Jed. Jed may have been uneducated, but he was calm, wise, and a peacemaker at heart. Jed was also a thoughtful man. When he had a difficult problem, he'd sit down and whittle for a spell until he thought of a solution. Jed was a guy you could count on in a crisis.
Unfortunately, what people got with George Dubbya Bush was not Jed, but rather, as Other McCain correctly points out, Jed's nephew Jethro: arrogantly convinced of his own rightness and full of crazy half-baked schemes that he thought were brilliant but which always ended in disaster.
The Other McCain goes on to say that those same "conservative intellectuals" turned on Palin, not because she was a trainwreck of a candidate, but because they were projecting their snotty smart-person disappointments with Bush onto her.
"The conservative intellectuals," he scolds, "looked at her and saw Vice President Ellie May Clampett."
Well, no. Ellie May was noted not only for her hotness, but also for her sweetness. Oh, she could kick the snot out of Jethro if she had to, but mostly she was devoted to the care of her "critters." It's hard to imagine Ellie May talking about someone "pallin' around with terrorists."
Sarah Palin, in contrast, came off as an attack dog. Palin, sad to say, was more like Granny than Ellie May. Granny (aka Daisy Moses, late of Napoleon, Tenn.) was, like Palin, belligerent, prone to dramatics, and shall we say, a little fuzzy on her history. Granny thought the South won the Civil War; Sarah Palin insisted she'd said "no thanks" to the Bridge to Nowhere.
It's important to remember this fact: Granny, like Jethro, rarely if ever prevailed. In fact, most of the show's plots involved Jed trying to mitigate the damage from Jethro and Granny's crazy ideas and antics. And, lest we forget, Jed wasn't above enlisting the help of the only intellectual on the show, the long-suffering Miss Jane.
Here's the secret to that folksy, down-home, unschooled persona: It works only so long as the person exhibits some sort of innate wit or intelligence. It works even better if the apparent simpleton can slip in some zingers that deflate the pompous eggheads.
Look at Ronald Reagan. Reagan could pull off folksy and down-home, despite his years in Hollywood, because (a) as an actor, he actually could think on his feet and come up with the occasional good line, and (b) he had some decent speechwriters for when he couldn't do it on his own.
In short, if you want to learn how to do the down-home folksy thing right as a politician, you definitely should study up on your "Beverly Hillbillies." But you need to be more Jed and less Jethro or Granny. If Sarah Palin had just taken that lesson, she might be a heartbeat away from the presidency today.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
It's Offical: Conservatives Now Hate America
Jay Nordlinger gets all pissy at the National Review:
It seems to me that the Left has won: utterly and decisively. What I mean is, the Saturday Night Live, Jon Stewart, Bill Maher mentality has prevailed. They decide what a person’s image is, and those images stick. They are the ones who say that Cheney’s a monster, W.’s stupid, and Palin’s a bimbo. And the country, apparently, follows....
A country that believes that Cheney’s a monster, W.’s stupid, and Palin’s a bimbo is a country with its head up its . . .
Heh. Remember how aghast wingnuts were when those awful traitorous Democrats dared to be unhappy about the narrow (if even that) victory of their Dear Leader? How dare they question the wisdom of the voters?
But IOKIYAR!
It seems to me that the Left has won: utterly and decisively. What I mean is, the Saturday Night Live, Jon Stewart, Bill Maher mentality has prevailed. They decide what a person’s image is, and those images stick. They are the ones who say that Cheney’s a monster, W.’s stupid, and Palin’s a bimbo. And the country, apparently, follows....
A country that believes that Cheney’s a monster, W.’s stupid, and Palin’s a bimbo is a country with its head up its . . .
Heh. Remember how aghast wingnuts were when those awful traitorous Democrats dared to be unhappy about the narrow (if even that) victory of their Dear Leader? How dare they question the wisdom of the voters?
But IOKIYAR!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Guess We Know Who's In Charge
Ehud Olmert Orders Bush Around Like an Employee:
WASHINGTON — In an unusually public rebuke, Prime Minister Ehud Olmert of Israel said Monday that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice had been forced to abstain from a United Nations resolution on Gaza that she helped draft, after Mr. Olmert placed a phone call to President Bush.
“I said, ‘Get me President Bush on the phone,’ ” Mr. Olmert said in a speech in the southern Israeli city of Ashkelon, according to The Associated Press. “They said he was in the middle of giving a speech in Philadelphia. I said I didn’t care: ‘I need to talk to him now,’ ” Mr. Olmert continued. “He got off the podium and spoke to me.”
Israel opposed the resolution, which called for a halt to the fighting in Gaza, because the government said it did not provide for Israel’s security. It passed 14 to 0, with the United States abstaining.
Mr. Olmert claimed that once he made his case to Mr. Bush, the president called Ms. Rice and told her to abstain. “She was left pretty embarrassed,” Mr. Olmert said, according to The A.P.
However you feel about the Israeli/Palestinian mess in Gaza, the image of the President of the United States letting himself be called on the carpet like some junior associate ought to piss any American off.
Frankly, I think both sides of the conflict have behaved in a way that's insanely counterproductive. Hamas tries to goad Israel into an operation in which hundreds, perhaps thousands of Palestinian civilians will be killed. Israel obligingly roars into Gaza and kills hundreds, perhaps thousands of civilians. Palestinians hate Israel more than ever, and extremists harvest more recruits from the families of the dead and wounded. Now you tell me...who's in control of that situation? Who's accomplished their objectives? This isn't a war: it's an extremist recruiting drive, with the IDF as the best recruiters Hamas ever had.
Hamas may be monsters, but the Israelis are saps for falling for the same trap over and over.
All that said, I am sick of this so-called "policy" where Israel says "jump" and Bush goes "how high?"
WASHINGTON — In an unusually public rebuke, Prime Minister Ehud Olmert of Israel said Monday that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice had been forced to abstain from a United Nations resolution on Gaza that she helped draft, after Mr. Olmert placed a phone call to President Bush.
“I said, ‘Get me President Bush on the phone,’ ” Mr. Olmert said in a speech in the southern Israeli city of Ashkelon, according to The Associated Press. “They said he was in the middle of giving a speech in Philadelphia. I said I didn’t care: ‘I need to talk to him now,’ ” Mr. Olmert continued. “He got off the podium and spoke to me.”
Israel opposed the resolution, which called for a halt to the fighting in Gaza, because the government said it did not provide for Israel’s security. It passed 14 to 0, with the United States abstaining.
Mr. Olmert claimed that once he made his case to Mr. Bush, the president called Ms. Rice and told her to abstain. “She was left pretty embarrassed,” Mr. Olmert said, according to The A.P.
However you feel about the Israeli/Palestinian mess in Gaza, the image of the President of the United States letting himself be called on the carpet like some junior associate ought to piss any American off.
Frankly, I think both sides of the conflict have behaved in a way that's insanely counterproductive. Hamas tries to goad Israel into an operation in which hundreds, perhaps thousands of Palestinian civilians will be killed. Israel obligingly roars into Gaza and kills hundreds, perhaps thousands of civilians. Palestinians hate Israel more than ever, and extremists harvest more recruits from the families of the dead and wounded. Now you tell me...who's in control of that situation? Who's accomplished their objectives? This isn't a war: it's an extremist recruiting drive, with the IDF as the best recruiters Hamas ever had.
Hamas may be monsters, but the Israelis are saps for falling for the same trap over and over.
All that said, I am sick of this so-called "policy" where Israel says "jump" and Bush goes "how high?"
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Words That Should Be Thrown Under The Bus
Latest Newspaper Column:
I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Lake Superior State University.
Not because of any athletic prowess on the part of the tiny college, way up on the Canadian border in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. And not because of its sterling academic record.
No, what I love about LSSU is its annual tradition of listing words that should be banned from the English language for "misuse, overuse and general uselessness." The list is created each year by folks who flock to the university's Web site to vote on the words that make them nuts. This year's list includes:
"Green." Not the concept per se, but the way every corporation trying to earn some kind of environmental brownie points throws the word carelessly around, as well as variables such as "going green," "building green," "green solutions," etc. "Is anyone buying this nonsense?" one voter asked.
Another word that people have apparently gotten sick of is "maverick." And who can blame them? Even if you were a McCain fan, you have to admit they flogged that word harder than a rented mule.
People were also apparently sick of the whole use of the "Wall Street/Main Street" cliché. "No 'serious' discussion of the crisis can take place without some political figure lamenting the fact that the trouble on Wall Street is affecting 'folks' on Main Street," one voter complained, while another one pointed out the condescension and stereotyping inherent in the phrase: "The recent and continuing financial failings are not limited to 'Wall Street,' nor should one paint business, consumers, and small investors as 'Main Street.'"
In a related peeve, the word "bailout" was given the boot: "Use of emergency funds to remove toxic assets from banks' balance sheets is not a bailout," a voter observed. "When your cousin calls you from jail in the middle of the night, he wants a bailout."
Voters were also sick of "game changer." Every primary was a "game changer." Or some debate or other was a disappointment because it wasn't a "game changer." For God's sake, will someone buy these commentators a thesaurus?
All in all, a good list. But I think they missed a few. My nominees for words and phrases ripe for banishment from the English language:
"Thrown under the bus": This has been overused for years, and it's reaching a crescendo now as various and sundry interest groups complain bitterly that they're being "thrown under the bus" by the Obama administration because his nominees and announced policies aren't -- surprise! -- as far "left" as the Republican shills in the mainstream media had been warning darkly that they would be.
I mean, it's bad enough that wingnuts bought into that blarney. Gullibility and an insatiable appetite for outrage are, after all, the very things that define the American Right. But liberals are supposed to be at least smart enough not to believe the Faux-News-enabled idiots who spent the entire election shrieking that "Oh my God, Barack Hussein Obama is the most liberal senator evah!"
Obama is, was, and always will be a centrist who believes in consensus. That's why he got elected.
It's a little silly to kvetch now because he hasn't announced that he'll legalize gay marriage and medical marijuana or appoint Dennis Kucinich secretary of defense while crushing the Republican Caucus beneath his Boots of Librul Doom.
I'm a good bit more liberal than Obama, but I made my peace with that early on. The only thing more annoying is that some of the same idiots who were braying that Obama was a "leftist" are now smugly gloating that "he's not really a liberal! He threw you libs under the bus!"
And while we're at it, can we dump the silly use of "leftist" for anyone even slightly more liberal than the person speaking? I mean, when a former member of the Swift Boat Vets referred to John McCain as a "leftist," was there any doubt that the word had lost all meaning?
We should also have a law against using the words "socialist," "Marxist," or "fascist" by anyone, of any political persuasion, who cannot define, in a paragraph or less, the differences among those philosophies.
"Blame Game": I really, really never want to hear these words again. Here's a hint: The guy or gal saying "let's not play the blame game" is most likely the one to blame.
"Baby Bump": This tabloid cliché, meant to imply that a well-known female might be expecting, sets my teeth on edge. Every time a female celebrity goes out in a bikini or short shirt and shows a little roundness in the tummy, it's "Baby bump? Baby bump?" If she even appears in loose-fitting clothing, it's "Is she hiding a baby bump?" It's bad enough that the tabloids are so fascinated with the whelping habits of empty-headed glitterati, but getting this cutesy about it ought to be punishable by flogging.
Remember: Only you can prevent these crimes against our language. Thanks to the folks at Lake Superior State University for leading the fight.
I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Lake Superior State University.
Not because of any athletic prowess on the part of the tiny college, way up on the Canadian border in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. And not because of its sterling academic record.
No, what I love about LSSU is its annual tradition of listing words that should be banned from the English language for "misuse, overuse and general uselessness." The list is created each year by folks who flock to the university's Web site to vote on the words that make them nuts. This year's list includes:
"Green." Not the concept per se, but the way every corporation trying to earn some kind of environmental brownie points throws the word carelessly around, as well as variables such as "going green," "building green," "green solutions," etc. "Is anyone buying this nonsense?" one voter asked.
Another word that people have apparently gotten sick of is "maverick." And who can blame them? Even if you were a McCain fan, you have to admit they flogged that word harder than a rented mule.
People were also apparently sick of the whole use of the "Wall Street/Main Street" cliché. "No 'serious' discussion of the crisis can take place without some political figure lamenting the fact that the trouble on Wall Street is affecting 'folks' on Main Street," one voter complained, while another one pointed out the condescension and stereotyping inherent in the phrase: "The recent and continuing financial failings are not limited to 'Wall Street,' nor should one paint business, consumers, and small investors as 'Main Street.'"
In a related peeve, the word "bailout" was given the boot: "Use of emergency funds to remove toxic assets from banks' balance sheets is not a bailout," a voter observed. "When your cousin calls you from jail in the middle of the night, he wants a bailout."
Voters were also sick of "game changer." Every primary was a "game changer." Or some debate or other was a disappointment because it wasn't a "game changer." For God's sake, will someone buy these commentators a thesaurus?
All in all, a good list. But I think they missed a few. My nominees for words and phrases ripe for banishment from the English language:
"Thrown under the bus": This has been overused for years, and it's reaching a crescendo now as various and sundry interest groups complain bitterly that they're being "thrown under the bus" by the Obama administration because his nominees and announced policies aren't -- surprise! -- as far "left" as the Republican shills in the mainstream media had been warning darkly that they would be.
I mean, it's bad enough that wingnuts bought into that blarney. Gullibility and an insatiable appetite for outrage are, after all, the very things that define the American Right. But liberals are supposed to be at least smart enough not to believe the Faux-News-enabled idiots who spent the entire election shrieking that "Oh my God, Barack Hussein Obama is the most liberal senator evah!"
Obama is, was, and always will be a centrist who believes in consensus. That's why he got elected.
It's a little silly to kvetch now because he hasn't announced that he'll legalize gay marriage and medical marijuana or appoint Dennis Kucinich secretary of defense while crushing the Republican Caucus beneath his Boots of Librul Doom.
I'm a good bit more liberal than Obama, but I made my peace with that early on. The only thing more annoying is that some of the same idiots who were braying that Obama was a "leftist" are now smugly gloating that "he's not really a liberal! He threw you libs under the bus!"
And while we're at it, can we dump the silly use of "leftist" for anyone even slightly more liberal than the person speaking? I mean, when a former member of the Swift Boat Vets referred to John McCain as a "leftist," was there any doubt that the word had lost all meaning?
We should also have a law against using the words "socialist," "Marxist," or "fascist" by anyone, of any political persuasion, who cannot define, in a paragraph or less, the differences among those philosophies.
"Blame Game": I really, really never want to hear these words again. Here's a hint: The guy or gal saying "let's not play the blame game" is most likely the one to blame.
"Baby Bump": This tabloid cliché, meant to imply that a well-known female might be expecting, sets my teeth on edge. Every time a female celebrity goes out in a bikini or short shirt and shows a little roundness in the tummy, it's "Baby bump? Baby bump?" If she even appears in loose-fitting clothing, it's "Is she hiding a baby bump?" It's bad enough that the tabloids are so fascinated with the whelping habits of empty-headed glitterati, but getting this cutesy about it ought to be punishable by flogging.
Remember: Only you can prevent these crimes against our language. Thanks to the folks at Lake Superior State University for leading the fight.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Insert "Stimulus Package" Joke Here
Porn industry seeks federal bailout « - Blogs from CNN.com
WASHINGTON (CNN) — Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.
“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,” said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. “The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”
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