The Good News: New Orleans wasn't destroyed.
The Bad News: Mississippi and Alabama were hit hard. Your prayers and good wishes are still urgently needed for those folks. And, I'd reckon, probably the aforementioned blood donations as well.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Sunday, August 28, 2005
If You Believe in Prayer
Or even if you don't, then pray or at least send some positive mental energy for New Orleans and its people. The Big Easy is in the path of its worst nightmare: a Category 5 hurricane that's predicted to hit at high tide tomorrow with a storm surge of 25 feet or more. Almost the entire city is below sea/river level, protected by a series of levees and pumps that weren't in any way designed to handle a surge that big.
I have a bad feeling about this.
UPDATE: Some f0lks have suggested a more tangible way to help: give blood. There are likely to be injuries, and I understand stockpiles are low.
I have a bad feeling about this.
UPDATE: Some f0lks have suggested a more tangible way to help: give blood. There are likely to be injuries, and I understand stockpiles are low.
Letters, Oh, I Get Letters
Letter in Today's Paper: "Many people think The Pilot's position on many current events is from the liberal viewpoint. Why, just open it up and you'll read all about the latest Bush bashing from Dusty Rhoades. There is no similar space made available to rebuke this flippant man, is there? I'd very much like that job."
BRING. IT. ON.
BRING. IT. ON.
Thank You, Pat Robertson
Latest Newspaper Column
Boy, folks, I've got to tell you, I really owe Pat Robertson.
He's almost gotten to be a more reliable source of column material than my old friends at PETA. When the well's running dry on column topics, ol' Pat comes through with some Looney Tunes pronouncement that was supposedly granted him by no less than the Creator himself.
This time, God's told Pat that we need to kill Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.
No, I'm not joking. Recently on his show "The 700 Club," Robertson spake unto us, saying: "You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a warÉ without question, this is a dangerous enemy to our south, controlling a huge pool of oil, that could hurt us very badly. We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator."
Man, I thought I was mad at gas prices. Robertson apparently went to the pump and came completely unglued.
This being South America, it should be noted that Chavez is the duly elected president. He's been elected twice, in fact, the second time by a bigger margin than Bush in his second term. Even Dubbya has grudgingly admitted that "This man was elected by the people."
It's not just Chavez' "huge pool of oil" that's caused Pat's fancy to lightly turn to thoughts of homicide. According to him (or maybe to God, it's hard to tell with Robertson), "[Chavez] has destroyed the Venezuelan economy, and he's going to make that a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism all over the continent."
Wow. Communist infiltration AND Muslim extremism? At the same time? It must be difficult keeping those guys from all being in the same room, what with the Muslims still being really cheesed off at the commies for that Russian invasion of Afghanistan and all. Not to mention the fact that his country is 98 percent Roman Catholic.
Of course, this isn't the first bloodthirsty fatwah our very own American Ayatollah has come out with. Back in 2003, Robertson caused a flap when he said of the U.S. State Department, "You've got to say to yourself, 'If I could only get a nuclear device inside Foggy Bottom' [the nickname for the Department's headquarters]."
In many places throughout the world, when you claim to have the ear of God and start raving that some world leader needs to be killed or that you'd like to detonate a nuclear device inside a government building, men with white coats come and cart you off to a nice room with rubber walls. But Robertson's a rich televangelist. He has his own TV network. He's a former Republican presidential candidate. I mean, is this a great country or what?
Here's my question:
Conservatives and their flunkies in the media are always demanding that so-called liberals "distance themselves" from the more wild-eyed pronouncements of people like Whoopi Goldberg and Michael Moore. Even the usually even-handed newsman Peter Jennings (may he rest in peace) chastised Democratic candidate Wesley Clark for not denouncing Moore when Moore called President Bush a "deserter."
So why aren't there calls for President Bush or Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist to denounce this kind of rabid wingnuttery? When are we going to see someone stand up in a presidential press conference and say: "Mr. President, Pat Robertson, a prominent conservative who influences thousands of conservative Christians, has stated that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez should be assassinated. Do you agree? Is assassination of elected world leaders who might withhold their oil the policy of this administration?"
Or even, "Mr. President, Pat Robertson has wished he could smuggle a nuclear device into our own State Department and set it off. Do you agree?"
Obviously, I'm not holding my breath for the so-called "liberal media" to drop its double standard. They'll gleefully hang the so-called "hate speech" of left-wing nuts like Colorado professor Ward Churchill around the necks of Democrats. But they seem oddly reluctant to do the same with Republican supporters for whom the answer to the question "What Would Jesus Do?" includes nuclear terrorism and political assassination.
I'm also not holding my breath until Dubbya or Frist use their own free speech rights to speak out. They're terrified of alienating their fanatical and dedicated evangelical "base" even as that base gets farther and farther out in their rhetoric. But when they call for the murder of officials that even our president admits were "elected by the people," does that base really speak for you?
Boy, folks, I've got to tell you, I really owe Pat Robertson.
He's almost gotten to be a more reliable source of column material than my old friends at PETA. When the well's running dry on column topics, ol' Pat comes through with some Looney Tunes pronouncement that was supposedly granted him by no less than the Creator himself.
This time, God's told Pat that we need to kill Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.
No, I'm not joking. Recently on his show "The 700 Club," Robertson spake unto us, saying: "You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a warÉ without question, this is a dangerous enemy to our south, controlling a huge pool of oil, that could hurt us very badly. We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator."
Man, I thought I was mad at gas prices. Robertson apparently went to the pump and came completely unglued.
This being South America, it should be noted that Chavez is the duly elected president. He's been elected twice, in fact, the second time by a bigger margin than Bush in his second term. Even Dubbya has grudgingly admitted that "This man was elected by the people."
It's not just Chavez' "huge pool of oil" that's caused Pat's fancy to lightly turn to thoughts of homicide. According to him (or maybe to God, it's hard to tell with Robertson), "[Chavez] has destroyed the Venezuelan economy, and he's going to make that a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism all over the continent."
Wow. Communist infiltration AND Muslim extremism? At the same time? It must be difficult keeping those guys from all being in the same room, what with the Muslims still being really cheesed off at the commies for that Russian invasion of Afghanistan and all. Not to mention the fact that his country is 98 percent Roman Catholic.
Of course, this isn't the first bloodthirsty fatwah our very own American Ayatollah has come out with. Back in 2003, Robertson caused a flap when he said of the U.S. State Department, "You've got to say to yourself, 'If I could only get a nuclear device inside Foggy Bottom' [the nickname for the Department's headquarters]."
In many places throughout the world, when you claim to have the ear of God and start raving that some world leader needs to be killed or that you'd like to detonate a nuclear device inside a government building, men with white coats come and cart you off to a nice room with rubber walls. But Robertson's a rich televangelist. He has his own TV network. He's a former Republican presidential candidate. I mean, is this a great country or what?
Here's my question:
Conservatives and their flunkies in the media are always demanding that so-called liberals "distance themselves" from the more wild-eyed pronouncements of people like Whoopi Goldberg and Michael Moore. Even the usually even-handed newsman Peter Jennings (may he rest in peace) chastised Democratic candidate Wesley Clark for not denouncing Moore when Moore called President Bush a "deserter."
So why aren't there calls for President Bush or Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist to denounce this kind of rabid wingnuttery? When are we going to see someone stand up in a presidential press conference and say: "Mr. President, Pat Robertson, a prominent conservative who influences thousands of conservative Christians, has stated that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez should be assassinated. Do you agree? Is assassination of elected world leaders who might withhold their oil the policy of this administration?"
Or even, "Mr. President, Pat Robertson has wished he could smuggle a nuclear device into our own State Department and set it off. Do you agree?"
Obviously, I'm not holding my breath for the so-called "liberal media" to drop its double standard. They'll gleefully hang the so-called "hate speech" of left-wing nuts like Colorado professor Ward Churchill around the necks of Democrats. But they seem oddly reluctant to do the same with Republican supporters for whom the answer to the question "What Would Jesus Do?" includes nuclear terrorism and political assassination.
I'm also not holding my breath until Dubbya or Frist use their own free speech rights to speak out. They're terrified of alienating their fanatical and dedicated evangelical "base" even as that base gets farther and farther out in their rhetoric. But when they call for the murder of officials that even our president admits were "elected by the people," does that base really speak for you?
Thursday, August 25, 2005
The George Dubbya Bush Light Bulb Joke
How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a
light bulb?
Ten.
1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;
3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;
4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness;
5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;
6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner 'Bulb Accomplished';
7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally 'in the dark' the whole time;
8. One to viciously smear No. 7;
9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;
10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
light bulb?
Ten.
1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;
3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;
4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness;
5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;
6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner 'Bulb Accomplished';
7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally 'in the dark' the whole time;
8. One to viciously smear No. 7;
9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;
10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
The Good Americans
Latest Newspaper Column
I’ve come to a momentous decision.
It’s time for me to be a better American.
Yes, I have seen the light. It’s time for me to drop my liberal ways and be more like the good, honest decent people who support our president, and, therefore, our country.
People, for example, like Larry Northern.
You may remember last week I talked a little bit about Cindy Sheehan, the California mom whose son was killed in Iraq. As of this writing, she’s still camped out down in Texas, waiting for Bush to come out and talk to her about what “noble cause” he says her boy’s death was for. One can sort of understand her confusion, seeing as how the Shrub has changed the “noble cause” quite a few times since this crusade began.
Now, it would seem a simple thing for President Bush to come down there, take Cindy back to the front porch, give her a cool glass of lemonade, and say something like, “Look, I know you think I acted disrespectfully last time we met. I’m sorry if I came across that way. That wasn’t my intent at all. I know you disagree with me on this war, but I feel strongly it was the right thing to do and we need to finish it.”
This whole thing would have been over in five minutes, and Dubbya could get on with his five weeks of naps and bike rides.
But n-o-o-o. Bush’s handlers, who have up to now shown pretty good political instincts, have let this thing fester, with more and more news outlets piling on the coverage each day. More mothers of dead servicemen have shown up, and a forest of white crosses, known as Arlington West, has sprung up, with each cross bearing the name of one of the dead.
Larry Northern to the rescue! This great American wasn’t going to take all this public grievin’ lying down, by golly. Why, the president’s just trying to lay back and have a good time! Larry, a real estate agent from Waco, and a darned good American, jumped in his pickup truck in the middle of the night and drove down to Camp Casey, as the protesters’ campsite has become known.
He then fastened a length of pipe to the bumper and knocked 400 crosses down with the truck. He also apparently knocked down 40 American flags that had been draped over the crosses. He was caught because one of the crosses caught in his wheel well and popped a tire, which is yet another bit of proof that (a) there is a God, and (b) He has one heck of a sense of humor. The cops caught up with him down the road and busted him for felony “criminal mischief.”
Ol’ Larry’s a regular Paul Revere, isn’t he? Riding through the night to protect American freedom. Except I don’t think Paul Revere knocked down any memorials to war dead or desecrated any American flags. The wuss.
Among the other examples of great Americans in this story are the people who followed minor-league conservative radio host Mike Gallagher down to Camp Casey for a “counterdemonstration.” They called themselves “Gallagher’s Army,” and Gallagher himself could once be seen on his Web site dressed in a fake officer’s uniform complete with gold braid. (I see he’s since taken that picture down).
Gallagher’s Army, it seems, couldn’t muster up the courage to knock down the crosses or flags, but they can be forgiven for that, I think. It was, after all, broad daylight. Courage can only go so far.
They did, however, line up by the side of the road across from Cindy Sheehan and her supporters (some of whom wrote about it later) and chant “We Don’t Care! We Don’t Care!”
They only did it for about 30 minutes, however. Then they got back on the bus and drove off. Because it’s Texas in the summer and it’s, you know, hot and stuff.
Wow. If there’s anything that says “good American” to me, it’s people who follow a guy who dresses up in a fake Army uniform and who chant “we don’t care” at the parents of soldiers who died in Iraq.
All sarcasm aside, one of the things the wingnut right has tried to smear Sheehan with is her supposed association with the public figures they most love to hate, such as filmmaker Michael Moore. (This, even though the only connection I can see is that Moore posted articles supporting Sheehan on his Web site.)
But I’ve got to tell you, I’d rather be behind someone supported by Michael Moore than someone supported by loonies who run over crosses and flags at midnight and chant “we don’t care” at the mothers of fallen soldiers.
Dusty Rhoades lives, writes, and practices law in Carthage. He says you can “always tell the wingnuts are getting desperate when they play the Michael Moore Card.”
I’ve come to a momentous decision.
It’s time for me to be a better American.
Yes, I have seen the light. It’s time for me to drop my liberal ways and be more like the good, honest decent people who support our president, and, therefore, our country.
People, for example, like Larry Northern.
You may remember last week I talked a little bit about Cindy Sheehan, the California mom whose son was killed in Iraq. As of this writing, she’s still camped out down in Texas, waiting for Bush to come out and talk to her about what “noble cause” he says her boy’s death was for. One can sort of understand her confusion, seeing as how the Shrub has changed the “noble cause” quite a few times since this crusade began.
Now, it would seem a simple thing for President Bush to come down there, take Cindy back to the front porch, give her a cool glass of lemonade, and say something like, “Look, I know you think I acted disrespectfully last time we met. I’m sorry if I came across that way. That wasn’t my intent at all. I know you disagree with me on this war, but I feel strongly it was the right thing to do and we need to finish it.”
This whole thing would have been over in five minutes, and Dubbya could get on with his five weeks of naps and bike rides.
But n-o-o-o. Bush’s handlers, who have up to now shown pretty good political instincts, have let this thing fester, with more and more news outlets piling on the coverage each day. More mothers of dead servicemen have shown up, and a forest of white crosses, known as Arlington West, has sprung up, with each cross bearing the name of one of the dead.
Larry Northern to the rescue! This great American wasn’t going to take all this public grievin’ lying down, by golly. Why, the president’s just trying to lay back and have a good time! Larry, a real estate agent from Waco, and a darned good American, jumped in his pickup truck in the middle of the night and drove down to Camp Casey, as the protesters’ campsite has become known.
He then fastened a length of pipe to the bumper and knocked 400 crosses down with the truck. He also apparently knocked down 40 American flags that had been draped over the crosses. He was caught because one of the crosses caught in his wheel well and popped a tire, which is yet another bit of proof that (a) there is a God, and (b) He has one heck of a sense of humor. The cops caught up with him down the road and busted him for felony “criminal mischief.”
Ol’ Larry’s a regular Paul Revere, isn’t he? Riding through the night to protect American freedom. Except I don’t think Paul Revere knocked down any memorials to war dead or desecrated any American flags. The wuss.
Among the other examples of great Americans in this story are the people who followed minor-league conservative radio host Mike Gallagher down to Camp Casey for a “counterdemonstration.” They called themselves “Gallagher’s Army,” and Gallagher himself could once be seen on his Web site dressed in a fake officer’s uniform complete with gold braid. (I see he’s since taken that picture down).
Gallagher’s Army, it seems, couldn’t muster up the courage to knock down the crosses or flags, but they can be forgiven for that, I think. It was, after all, broad daylight. Courage can only go so far.
They did, however, line up by the side of the road across from Cindy Sheehan and her supporters (some of whom wrote about it later) and chant “We Don’t Care! We Don’t Care!”
They only did it for about 30 minutes, however. Then they got back on the bus and drove off. Because it’s Texas in the summer and it’s, you know, hot and stuff.
Wow. If there’s anything that says “good American” to me, it’s people who follow a guy who dresses up in a fake Army uniform and who chant “we don’t care” at the parents of soldiers who died in Iraq.
All sarcasm aside, one of the things the wingnut right has tried to smear Sheehan with is her supposed association with the public figures they most love to hate, such as filmmaker Michael Moore. (This, even though the only connection I can see is that Moore posted articles supporting Sheehan on his Web site.)
But I’ve got to tell you, I’d rather be behind someone supported by Michael Moore than someone supported by loonies who run over crosses and flags at midnight and chant “we don’t care” at the mothers of fallen soldiers.
Dusty Rhoades lives, writes, and practices law in Carthage. He says you can “always tell the wingnuts are getting desperate when they play the Michael Moore Card.”
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