Monday, July 27, 2009

Attack of the Tiny Starlets

My favorite moment from Sarah Palin's farewell speech:

Let me tell you, Alaskans really need to stick together on this with new leadership in this area especially, encouraging new leadership… got to stiffen your spine to do what’s right for Alaska when the pressure mounts, because you’re going to see anti-hunting, anti-second amendment circuses from Hollywood and here’s how they do it. They use these delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets, they use Alaska as a fundraising tool for their anti-second amendment causes. Stand strong, and remind them patriots will protect our guaranteed, individual right to bear arms, and by the way, Hollywood needs to know, we eat, therefore we hunt.

That's right, friends, you heard it right from the mouth of the Right's newest oracle, St Sarah of Perpetual Resignation.

Hillary Duff and the Olsen Twins are coming to take your guns.

Oh, wait, she said "very talented." So tell me, Hellions, which ingenue is the greatest threat to the Second Amendment?


Gerard Saylor said...

I've got a gun they can take a hold of.

Cheryl Malaguti said...

Kelly Ripa, obviously. Bitch'll take you OUT with those collar bones, and then rip your gun out of your still quivering hand.

Randy Johnson said...

Probably not Paris, either. The operative word here is "talented."

John McFetridge said...

We eat, therefore we domesticated some animals.

And that right there kind of sums up the big issue of this century. Not that I think that was what she was saying, or that she realized that's what she was saying, but the whole left-right fight in America seems to be between managed resources or wild. The places that still remember the wide open spaces and the hunting and gathering are disappearing - there's just too many people.

We're not saying that open plains lifestyle is wrong, we're just saying it doesn't feed the numbers of people we have now and we'd like to feed everybody.

Anonymous said...

Color me somewhat confused.

She hunts because she eats, right?

She hunts wolves, right?

Logical premise is that she eats wolves, right?

Then why does whe hunt wolves from helicopters and leave their carcasses to rot?

Jerry House said...

FYI Lady QKat: The carcasses rot because she forgot the Grey Poupon.

David said...

Here's my theory: In translating from Palinese to English, "very talented" becomes "untalented".

Mark Terry said...

THanks for the transcription of a single paragraph. As a freelance writer who has interviewed then transcribed literally hundreds of interviews, I've noticed how the way people talk is an indication of how their mind works. Or doesn't.

And oh my gawd, this was a prepared speech?

Fran said...

Mark, Wayne Lawson took a red pen to Sarah's speech in Vanity Fair. Ohmygod what a stitch, and his editing DOES make it a better speech.

I suspect she wrote her speech herself, bein' a mav'rick and all.

Celine said...

Dusty, check this out: The Poetic Stylings of Caribou Barbie... as interpreted by William Shatner.

David Terrenoire said...

The line from the speech that has me bumfuzzled was this to the media:

"In honor of the American soldier, quit making things up."