Sunday, October 11, 2009

Fight the Power!

Latest Newspaper Column:
After the International Olympic Committee announced that Rio de Janeiro and not Chicago would be getting the 2016 Olympics, many Americans were disappointed that the event wouldn't be held on our soil. Certainly President Barack Obama was, since he had flown to Copenhagen to lobby personally for his adopted hometown.

Not those good Americans at the conservative magazine The Weekly Standard, though. "Cheers erupt at Weekly Standard world headquarters," wrote Editor John McCormack in an online post titled "Chicago Loses! Chicago Loses!"

Glenn Beck was also beside himself with glee. "Please, please let me break this news to you. It's so sweet," he chortled on his radio show before reporting that a foreign city would be getting the Olympics rather than an American one.

Rush Limbaugh was unapologetic in his joy over America's loss: "I don't deny it. I'm happy," he said.

The right-wing Web site NewsMax, which last week ran an article fantasizing about a military coup against the government, showed us that they were down with that crazy Internet-speak all the kids are using these days. "Chicago PWNED!" they Twittered.

(In case you're not familiar, PWNED is one of those online misspellings that's become so common it's used as a substitute for the actual word. So, PWNED equals OWNED, which equals "decisively defeated.")

Why were they so pleased? Wouldn't hosting the Olympics be a good thing, not just for Chicago, but for the U.S.A.?

Actually, whether the Olympics are that big a boon depends on who you ask. Some cities, such as Barcelona, got a boost in prestige and tourism from the Olympics. Some, like Montreal, reported losing money on the deal, at least in the short run.

But the folks celebrating the loss never reached that argument. To the leaders of the modern conservative movement, whether or not something is good for the country is irrelevant if they think it gives President Obama a black eye.

Rush Limbaugh said it explicitly. "Anything that gets in the way of Barack Obama accomplishing his domestic agenda is fine with me," he said.

"No Obamalympics," Michelle Malkin agreed.

Remember how right-wingers used to be so outraged about "liberals" being happy when America loses (while never being able to actually point to any real people who ever expressed any such joy)? Just look at them now. So much for "country first."

But what's next? After the rich, warm glow of spiteful satisfaction from this loss wears off, where can the concerned wingnut go to show President Obama he won't knuckle under to his Muslimcommiefascist agenda?

I have just the thing for you. Last Wednesday, President Obama signed an executive order forbidding federal employees to text while driving. The order, according to The Washington Post, "covers federal employees when they are using ­government-provided cars or cell phones and when they are using their own phones and cars to conduct government business."

Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood claimed that the ban "sends a very clear signal to the American public that distracted driving is dangerous and unacceptable."

On the surface, this may seem like a sensible precaution. But ­remember, anything President Obama supports, whether it be working hard and staying in school, bringing the Olympics to America, or paying attention to where the heck you're going when you drive, is something that you, as a good conservative, must oppose to your last breath.

So make sure your cell phone is equipped to send texts (or, as we'll be calling them from now on, "Freedom Messages"). Then gas up the SUV, get out there on the road, and start tap-tapping away. Spread the word far and wide that you won't be cowed by the foreign-born Islaminazi Marxist and his evil agenda of safety.

And why restrict yourself just to text messages? Twitter. E-mail. Check out the latest funny cat ­pictures on-line. Show everyone that there are still some proud, freedom-loving patriots out there willing to take a stand and push back against anything that President Obama's for.

Wear your dents and accident-related injuries with pride. And if, God forbid, the worst should happen, be sure to leave instructions that your tombstone should read, "I Really Showed YOU, Barack Hussein Obama!"

C'mon. Do it for Liberty.

4 comments:

Fran said...

We should be so lucky. Because it would be sweeet if all the wingnuts bashed into each other (not the sensible folks who aren't texting or yapping or whatever while driving) and knocked each other into oblivion.

Or good sense.

Sandra Ruttan said...

You know, in Canada I nearly always voted Conservative. I'm a fiscal conservative. I think under normal circumstances governments should be responsible for what they spend and try to balance the books and keep things in check. (Of course, some situations aren't normal - WWII would be an example. I'm not opposed to stimulus money in theory either, but I won't get sidetracked here.)

But the right wing in the US is so extreme they defy reason. That's my problem. I understand it makes for great radio if you're an absolute nut, frothing at the mouth with a one-sided opinion, but it's hard to take these people seriously when they distort the things that are said and done to try to vilify the president. I work in a school in Baltimore. Know what they did on speech day? Gave the kids the website and the option of viewing it live. If they didn't want to, they didn't have to. Didn't interfere with instruction in the slightest and was executed democratically, each individual student had their right to choose.

However, when it came to our kids (who attend school in a largely conservative area in Maryland) they weren't given the choice to watch the speech. Not even an option.

And now the critical masses can froth at the mouth over the Nobel Peace Prize. What some Americans fail to grasp is that the outcome of the last election was a message in itself. McCain was seen as more of Bush, and there were fears of escalating conflict in the Middle East. I don't want a US president who's trigger happy - I want one that thinks first. Obama didn't need to leave a legacy as a president for what he did to receive that honor - just being elected, representing a change, was huge. How countries around the world viewed the US and dealt with the US was greatly affected by the last president, and there was a major shift in international relations with the election of Obama. I guess a fair number of Americans just don't get how important that is. You can't be players on a stage with one country any more - international relations are critical to the economy, as well as to stability.

And on the one hand, they attack Obama for rushing through a health care bill without enough time to screen it, and then they accuse him of not doing anything.

The problem is, you can't win. No matter what you do, someone can spin it into a criticism. I mean, did people really think US soldiers would be out of Iraq in a few months? Talk about destabilizing the region.

It's really wonderful to sit on the sidelines and judge. It's easy to look at the people out on the front lines and tell them all the things they're doing wrong. It's much, much harder to actually get out there and do the job yourself. The sad thing is that so much weight, and wasted time and energy, is given to extremists who are more interested in promoting hatred of the president than democratic values.

Okay, I feel better now...

Alan said...

If such a movement were to spring up, it would truly be proof of natural selection, as the unfit (mentally or physically) went about removing themselves from the gene pool. ;P

Charlieopera said...

Last Wednesday, President Obama signed an executive order forbidding federal employees to text while driving. The order, according to The Washington Post, "covers federal employees when they are using ­government-provided cars or cell phones and when they are using their own phones and cars to conduct government business."

No doubt a good thing ... and probably his first accomplishment as President, although I suspect most are still waiting for the more dramatic change(s) promised.

Now, if only he could get his party together and pass single payer/public option ... or anything that isn't a complete sellout to insurance companies.

He's made Afghanistan his war -- a bad idea for which he was given a nobel peace prize. I hope that fugazy award gets him to rethink the "necessity" of waring inside Afghanistan.

Iraq was the wrong war ... blah, blah, blah ... and he's got us getting out the year before the next presidential election rather than sooner.

Gay couples continue to wait for the greatest democracy in the world to get democratic and provide equal rights across the board.

No more texting by federal employees while they're using federal vehicles? Nothing wrong with that.

And, I guess, it is change ... and something for SNL to tick off the next time they do an Obama to do list.