Saturday, March 15, 2008

Random Thoughts

Latest Newspaper Column (and yes, I know you lucky Hellions who are regular readers of this here blog have seen some of this before):

Just a few random thoughts and musings:

-- I may be one of the only people I know who really love daylight-saving time (and thanks to Chief Piloteer Steve Bouser for making sure we say it right).

I don't see how anyone can object to having more daylight when you get off work in the evenings. Granted, I'm not much of a morning person, so I don't care if it's dark then. I can barely see till after my second cup of coffee anyway.

But having the clock changed means there's more time to take a walk or a bike ride, sit out on the deck with a guitar and a cold drink, or whatever. Sure, there's a brief period of adjustment. But jeez, Louise, man up and get past it, ya bunch of whiners.

-- A few folks have asked me what I think about the recent scandal involving crusading New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, who apparently got caught patronizing, shall we say, several ladies of negotiable virtue.

Well, my first thought was: Wow. That was really, really dumb. That was my second thought as well, and my third. Thought No. 4 was: Spitzer was apparently known in the escort service's records as "Client 9." One can only wonder about the identity of clients 1 through 8.

And, finally, I understand that the woman in question charged almost $5,000 for her services. Five. Thousand. Dollars. Holy Mackerel. The mind reels. I mean, I'm sure she's pretty and everything, but for five grand, the wench better stay the night and make me some pancakes in the morning. And I want real maple syrup.

-- If you're one of the so-called "early adopters" that upgraded to Microsoft's Windows Vista operating system when it came out, only to discover that your computer didn't have the horsepower to run it or that it wasn't compatible with your printer, scanner, etc. -- well, you're not alone.

A recent class-action lawsuit filed in Washington State has turned up documents from Vista users complaining that the operating system didn't recognize their other hardware or important programs. One user complained that Vista was so incompatible with other programs he used that his new laptop was nothing more than a "2,100-dollar e-mail machine."

What was remarkable about these complaints is that they came from executives of Microsoft. Yes, that's right. The program's so dysfunctional that the people who designed it can't use it. And they knew this before they released it on an unsuspecting public.

-- Further proof that God has a sense of humor, if any was still needed:

Remember Hillary Clinton's famous "3 a.m." ad? The one where the children are asleep, and the voiceover talks about a crisis somewhere in the world at 3 a.m., and who do you want answering the White House phone?

Well, as it turns out, those children nestled all snug in their beds weren't filmed recently. That's actually previously shot "stock footage" of the kids and their worried mom (who for some reason is fully dressed at 3 a.m. when looking in on them -- is she just getting home?).

In fact, the footage is several years old. The actress who played the little girl shown sleeping peacefully, all unaware of the Big Scary Crisis That Only Hillary Can Deal With is now 17 years old -- and she's working for Obama.

"I'm just enjoying the irony," Casey Knowles of Bonney Lake, Wash., told ABC.

You're not the only one, Casey. I've been laughing myself silly about this for days. If the Obama campaign does not put her in their next bunch of ads (and she's offered to appear), I'm going to have to start questioning their competence as well.

-- Yet another report has come out showing that there is no evidence of a pre-Iraq War connection between Saddam Hussein and al-Qaida. As this report shows, Donald Rumsfeld, who said there was "bulletproof" evidence that Saddam and al-Qaida were working together, was lying through his teeth.

Meanwhile, the U.S. Congress retains its laserlike focus on the real menace to America: Roger Clemens. By the way, this report was commissioned by the Pentagon itself, so remember: If you still claim Saddam and al-Qaida were connected before the war, you hate our troops.

-- Remember how all the news media were trumpeting the comeback of Hillary Clinton after she won the "firewall states" of Texas and Ohio? Well, guess what? Once the delegates were all counted, including those gained from the caucuses, Barack Obama won Texas.

Now, before the primaries, the news media were saying, with one voice, that Hillary had to win both Texas and Ohio "decisively" to stay in the race. So do you think she'll withdraw now? Do you think Obama's victory will be reported in the media as extensively as Hillary's "comeback"?

Do you also believe in the Easter Bunny?

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