Some of my favorites:
(302): Who goes to Church hungover
(717): Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
(789): If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
(406): When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
(202): therell be strippers and coke right?
(703): no strippers. just coke.
(202): i hate this fuckin recession