Monday, August 03, 2009

Suckers.

I know it seems like I'm obsessing over this birther thing...but these idiots are, like PETA, a gift that just keeps on giving. The latest twist comes in an e-mail from wingnut reader Russell (who, as you may remember, calls the President "part joo [sic] and part nigger--a mongrel hybrid"). The e-mail begins:

I SUSPECT THAT THIS WILL BE THE MOST HEAVILY FORWARDED E-MAIL IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. I AM SURE THAT YOU WANTED TO KNOW. HERE WE HAVE INFORMATION ON THE INTERNET THAT WOULD NEVER BE DISTRIBUTED BY THE NEWSPAPERS. RUSS

This "bombshell" destined to become "the most heavily forwarded e-mail in the history of the world:" is a link to a story at the right wing online scandal sheet WorldNut...Sorry, WorldNet daily. This story claims that Barack Obama's "real" birth certificate has now been found in Kenya:

California attorney Orly Taitz, who has filed a number of lawsuits demanding proof of Barack Obama's eligibility to serve as president, has released a copy of what purports to be a Kenyan certification of birth and has filed a new motion in U.S. District Court for its authentication.

Good luck with that there motion, Orly. As several people with working brain cells almost immediately noticed, the Kenyan certificate is not just a fake, but a clumsy one:

First, the hospital is Coast Provincial General Hospital (sometimes said to be Coast Province General Hospital), not Coast General Hospital.

Second, Kenya was a Dominion the date this certificate was allegedly issued and would not become a republic for 8 months.

Third, Mombasa belonged to Zanzibar when Obama was born, not Kenya.

Fourth, Obama's father's village would be nearer to Nairobi, not Mombasa.

Fifth, the number 47O44-- 47 is Obama's age when he became president, followed by the letter O (not a zero) followed by 44--he is the 44th president.

Sixth, EF Lavender is a laundry detergent.

Seventh, would a nation with a large number of Muslims actually say "Christian name" (as opposed to name) on the birth certificate?

Eighth, his father (born in 1936) would have been 24 or 25 when he was born and not 26.

Ninth, it was called the "Central Nyanza District," not Nyanza Province. The regions were changed to provinces in 1970.

I still predict, however, that a year from now I'll still be getting e-mails from these brain dead racist idiots about the "Kenyan birth certificate" that's being suppressed by the forces of evil. You know, the one from the "Republic of Kenya" dated from before Kenya was a Republic and signed by a laundry detergent.

There truly is one born every minute. Wonder if Orly and Co fall for the DEAR FRIEND e-mails from Nigeria, too?

UPDATE: More here, where a commenter also points out:

The price is shown as 7s. 6d. This is not valid Kenyan currency. The forger must have assumed that Kenya used British currency, but Kenya never used pennies, they used cents. It should say 7s. 50c. if it were authentic.


11 comments:

LongHairedWeirdo said...

It's not nice to make fun of people's names.

But it strikes me as strong evidence, if not proof, that there's a god (or some strange force that intervenes in delightful ways in the universe) that a person destined to become a birther supporting attorney had parents who named her "O RLY".

Randy Johnson said...

When have the wingnuts let a small thing like facts stand in their way?

Celine said...

We should start forwarding those e-mails to other wingnuts -- after replacing the link with a Rickroll!

Fran said...

My wife pointed out that the signature being a laundry detergent makes perfect sense -- they were trying to clean things up.

I know. Groaningly awful, but still. . .the whole thing's laughable.

I loved Rachel Maddow's plea to Republicans to stand up to this tin-hat wingnuttery.

nathan s said...

Hey man, PETA do great work! Like get naked in public in "sexy kitty" make-up. I don't know what else they do, but that's awesome, and should be applauded at every turn. I'd like to see the birthers do that.
(On second thought . . .)

Apropos of nothing, I happen to be part 'joo' myself. And I gave my original birth certificate to a sketchy little league coach over twenty years ago who subsequently made off with it. So many things keeping me from the presidency, alas. Although I am white.

JD Rhoades said...

So many things keeping me from the presidency, alas. Although I am white.

Prove it.

nathan s said...

I can't! I cannot even prove that I was actually born. And frankly, I have my doubts.

Tom said...

Dusty, would the feds arrest and extradite someone over this? Because the Kenyan gov't isn't going to be too happy that there are people in the USA forging official Kenyan documents, and may ask the US gov't to take action.

Dana King said...

JD,
I saw this in today's Washington Post and thought you'd appreciate it.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/04/AR2009080402424.html?hpid=opinionsbox1

Gerard Saylor said...

Obama is a mack daddy.

Gerard Saylor said...

Wait a moment, should "mack daddy" be captialized? Is it considered a title?