Friday, February 10, 2006

Letters, Oh I Get Letters.....

The Pilot Newspaper - Opinion Page today:

It was so apropos that the column of Dusty Rhodes [sic] appeared beside the opinion of Jack Taylor in Sunday’s (Feb. 5) Pilot. Dusty playfully supposed that words from the White House are to repeat that “everything is going great” enough times and it will be true. If anyone should report otherwise, they are to be attacked and ridiculed. Jack, who would do well on the White House staff, is doing just that — repeat it enough times and everyone will think it’s true. He says that “lefties” are damaging our military morale, and giving encouragement to the Islamic radicals (repeated rhetoric from the White House).

I was the Commanding Officer of a U.S. destroyer (operating off Vietnam) during the Vietnam conflict, and the crew’s morale was not based on anything that the news media or the “lefties” said or did. It was based upon performing the job well.

And, how do we know that the new government being established in Iraq will be dedicated to freedom and as it spreads it will make our country much safer (more White House rhetoric)?

His statement about the mindset of most of the judges who were put on the federal bench in recent years has been unconstitutional, anti-Christian and near-decadent is completely without proof. Where does he get this kind of information? Conservatives may be in control of our government and courts now, but “what goes around comes around.”

Joseph Mitchell, Capt., USN (Ret.)

God bless the U.S. Navy....

Goodbye, Cruel World

Yesterday I found out that Barry Manilow has the #1 album in the nation.

Today I find out, via Duane Swierczynski's Blog, that Sylvester Stallone is making another Rocky movie.

That tears it.

I'm going to kill myself.

Thursday, February 09, 2006


Barry Freakin' Manilow has the #1 album in the country.

There is no God. A merciful Deity would never permit this.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Noir To Cosy in 12 Easy Stages

For those of you who've always wanted to know about the diverse genres of crime fiction (but were afraid to ask), Donna Moore explains it all in her hilarious send-up From Noir To Cosy in 12 Easy Stages.

Sopranos Ho!

Dave White has been keeping lookout, and he's spotted something in the distance...the impending return of the best crime drama on TV, ever: The Sopranos. Coming March 12.


Monday, February 06, 2006

They Came for Bugs Bunny, and I Did Not Speak Up, Because I Was Not a 'Toon

I don't care who you are--Muslim, Christian, Jew, or Hare Freaking Krishna. If you get this incensed over a damn cartoon (or movie or TV show for that matter), you've lost all claim to being anything but, as Peter O'Toole's T.E. Lawrence put it in Lawrence of Arabia, "A small people, a silly people, barbarous and cruel."

Sunday, February 05, 2006

News Flash: Wingnuts Wrong Again

Remember the wingnut talking point that revealing Valerie Plame's CIA connection wasn't a crime because she was a "desk jockey" and that she wasn't a covert agent?

Wrong again, wingnuts.

Newly released court papers could put holes in the defense of Dick Cheney's former chief of staff, I. Lewis (Scooter) Libby, in the Valerie Plame leak case. Lawyers for Libby, and White House allies, have repeatedly questioned whether Plame, the wife of White House critic Joe Wilson, really had covert status when she was outed to the media in July 2003. But special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald found that Plame had indeed done "covert work overseas" on counterproliferation matters in the past five years, and the CIA "was making specific efforts to conceal" her identity, according to newly released portions of a judge's opinion.

Apologies will be taken in comments.

They Can't Handle the Truth, But They Can Sure Spin It

Latest Newspaper Column

“Sir, I’m afraid I have bad news. It’s about Iraq.”

“Sigh. Iraq, Iraq, Iraq. Always Iraq. What is it now?”

“Well, a recent study shows that the pace of deployments in Iraq has stretched the Army to the breaking point.”


“It gets worse, sir. The study says that ‘the Army cannot sustain the pace of troop deployments to Iraq long enough to break the back of the insurgency.’ I’m afraid that’s a direct quote, sir.”

“This is an outrage! Who wrote that report? Was it that old windbag Murtha?”

“Um, no sir. It’s a retired Army officer named Krepinevich.”

“Ah. Some disgruntled officer. Who’d he write it for? Some left-wing blog?”

“Uh, no sir. He wrote it under contract for the Pentagon. And General Joulwan agrees with him, sort of.”

“Who the heck is General Joulwan?”

“Four-star general, sir. Former commander of NATO.”

“Ah. French, is he?”

“No sir. He’s one of ours.”

“Can we make him look French? Does he talk funny?”

“Doubtful, sir.”

“Sigh. OK, what does this French guy say?”

“Sir, he’s not …”

“He is whatever we say he is, if we say it enough times. Now what does he say?”

“He said, ‘Whether they’re broken or not, I think I would say if we don’t change the way we’re doing business, they’re in danger of being fractured and broken, and I would agree with that.’”

“Arrghhh! ... OK, there’s only one thing to do.”

“Yes, sir, I agree. I’ll call Secretary Rumsfeld and tell him to start working on a gradual exit strategy.”

“No, you idiot! We can’t do that!”


“How long have you been working here, boy? This is the Bush White House! We don’t listen to bad news. We don’t take advice. And we never, ever, ever change our minds. Get it?”

“But sir, the report …”

“Forget the damn report, son! We’re at war here. And by war, I mean we’re at war with anyone who suggests that everything isn’t going great!”

“Yes, sir.”

“Get those Swift Boat guys on it. I want this Krepwhoever disgraced. And this French general, too. If we can make this about them, nobody will be talking about whether the report is true or not. Question their military records! If they won any medals, claim they weren’t really earned. We got any more of those purple Band-Aids?

“I can check, sir.”

“Good. I want a million of them on the streets by tomorrow. And get Limbaugh and Hannity on the phone. Have them demand that this Kreplach character and that Frenchy Joulwan release every scrap of paper the military ever generated about them, right down to requisition forms for socks, and if they’re not produced, tell them the American people demand to know where the socks are!”

“Yes, sir.”

“Get hold of some of our useful idiots in the media. Whatever happened to that guy that always lobbed us softball questions in the Press Room?”

“He went back to his former job as a gay hooker, sir.”

“Pity. OK, call that Matthews guy on “Hardball.” Have them say that the Pentagon report sounds like something Osama bin Laden would say.”

“Um, sir ….”

“And O’Reilly. O’Reilly’s perfect for this sort of thing. Tell him to say the report only emboldens the enemy.”

“You want me to have Bill O’Reilly tell the American people that the Pentagon is emboldening the enemy?”

“Son, do you like your job?”

“Yes sir.”

“Do you love terrorists?”

“No, sir.”

“And who’s the enemy again?”

“Everyone who suggests that things aren’t going great, sir.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“Have Bill O’Reilly tell everyone the Pentagon is emboldening the enemy, sir.”

“Very good. Now. Does Michael Moore have this report yet?”

“I don’t know, sir.”

“Well, see that he gets it. If he starts making a fuss about the report, we can make fun of it because Michael Moore’s talking about it. Moore’s a big fat guy, you know.”

“What does that have to do with … never mind.”

“Now you’re getting it. Remember your training, son. When the facts are inconvenient…”

“Attack and ridicule the person reporting them. Yes, sir.”

“Finally, call up the Justice Department. Have them do a press release that we’ll be investigating the leak of the report because the report jeopardizes national security.”

“Yes, sir. “

“Oh, and any reporter who brings it up? Have the NSA tap their phones.”


“Do I mumble, boy? I said tap their phones! Anyone who reports this or makes any reference to it is obviously working with al-Qaeda.”

“Will the courts buy that one, sir?”

“HAHAHAHAAAA! That’s a good one, son.”

“I try, sir.”

“But seriously. Just remember. We’re at war. Al-Qaeda is anyone we say they are. No oversight. No checks and balances. And above all, no questions. Anyone criticizes or questions us, they’re disloyal and partisan and therefore…”

“The enemy, sir. ... Oh, by the way, sir, the president says we’re out of pretzels.”

“Sigh. Okay, put Condi on it. She needs something to do.”

“Yes sir, Mr. Cheney.”