Friday, March 26, 2010

Too Funny...

Tea Party Advocates Who Scorn Socialism Want a Government Job -

March 26 (Bloomberg) -- Tea Party activists, who are becoming a force in U.S. politics, want the federal government out of their lives except when it comes to creating jobs.

More than 90 percent of Tea Party backers interviewed in a new Bloomberg National Poll say the U.S. is verging more toward socialism than capitalism, the federal government is trying to control too many aspects of private life and more decisions should be made at the state level.

At the same time, 70 percent of those who sympathize with the Tea Party, which organized protests this week against President Barack Obama’s health-care overhaul, want a federal government that fosters job creation.

They also look to the government to rein in Wall Street, with almost half saying the government should do something about executive bonuses. Supporters are also conflicted over whether private-enterprise elements should be introduced into government programs like Social Security and Medicare.

“The ideas that find nearly universal agreement among Tea Party supporters are rather vague,” says J. Ann Selzer, the pollster who created the survey.

Gee, ya think?

It's part and parcel with the conservative governors and Congresscritters who screamed and wailed and stomped their feet over the stimulus package, and will still swear that "it hasn't done a thing", then head back home for a ceremony where they take credit for bringing a stimulus funded project to their district.

I swear, these people remind me of nothing so much as a teenager screaming to her mother "I HATE YOU! Now give me a ride to the mall!"

Monday, March 22, 2010

Your Humble Author Joins the Great Kindle Experiment

Following in the footsteps of my friends JA Konrath and Lee Goldberg, I've put my novel STORM SURGE up on Amazon's Kindle site as a 1.99 e-book.

The Description:

DIE HARD meets KEY LARGO in the first e-published novel by the Shamus-Award nominated author of BREAKING COVER and the Jack Keller series.

For the country's rich and powerful, Pass Island is a secluded playground, a place to get away from it all. For waitress Sharon Brennan, it's a place to make a living for herself and her daughter Glory. For amiable handyman Max Chase, it's a place far away from his past.

But there's a lot more to Max than meets the eye. And as a Category Five Hurricane bears down on Pass Island, some very bad people arrive with a plan to use the cover of the storm to steal a mysterious object, an object that powerful people want desperately enough to kill for.

When things go wrong and Sharon and Glory are trapped on the island with a team of cold-blooded mercenaries, they begin to realize that maybe Max isn't the good guy they thought he was...but he may be just the bad guy they need.

Find it HERE

Which Well Would That Be, Honorable John?

The Hill's Blog Briefing Room:
Democrats shouldn't expect much cooperation from Republicans the rest of this year, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) warned Monday.

GOP senators emerged Monday to caution that the health debate had taken a toll on the institution, warning of little work between parties the rest of this year.

"There will be no cooperation for the rest of the year," McCain said during an interview Monday on an Arizona radio affiliate. "They have poisoned the well in what they've done and how they've done it."

Help me out here.

When the hell have they gotten cooperation from the Republicans so far? Waht are they going to do that they haven't done so far? Put a "hold" on nominees for important posts? Block legislation and throw people out of work just to show they can, then say "tough shit" when anyone calls them on it?

Seems to me all they've done with that well is piss in it. And now they're saying they're going to take a dump in it too, not because of the merits or lack of same of any pending legislation, but because they have their Depends in a wad?

Well gee, Honorable John, guess that whole "Country First" slogan was just that: a slogan. And guess we'll just have to toddle along without you, like we did on the health care bill.

Will somebody please remind this old coot that 41 Republicans + Lieberman is STILL not a majority? And will someone remind the Democrats as well?

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Prince Phillip: He So Crazy

Latest Newspaper Column: Well, it looks like my old friend Prince Philip is at it again. Longtime readers of this column may remember that I’ve always been a big fan of Philip Mountbatten, Duke of Edinburgh, husband to Queen Elizabeth the Second, and thus prince consort of the United Kingdom. For one thing, his is an inspiring story. Like Michael Dukakis, he was born the son of Greek immigrants.

True, one of those immigrants was Prince Andrew of Greece, who, for some reason, was actually Danish. (Trying to figure out the interweaving bloodlines of European royalty can be a bit like trying to untangle a drawer full of headphone cords.)

When his family was exiled from Greece, the plucky prince made hisway to Britain. There, he served in the Royal Navy, dropped all hisGreek titles like an old pair of worn-out socks, renamed himself Philip Mountbatten and married way, way up when he wooed and won then-Princess Elizabeth. At first glance, the job of prince consort of the United Kingdom looks like a pretty sweet gig. The hours are easy, you’re married to one of the world’s richest women, and — here’s the part that really endears ol’ Phil to me — you can say pretty much any fool thing that comes into your head and no one can do squat about it.

Which brings us to Philip’s latest gaffe. While he and the missus were reviewing Royal Navy cadets, he happened to strike up a conversation with pretty 24-year-old female cadet, Elizabeth Rendle, who moonlights as a bartender.

“I told him I worked in a club,” Rendle told the British newspaper the Daily Mail. “He then asked if it was a strip club. Obviously I said ‘No’, and then he said, ‘Oh, it’s a bit too cold today anyway.”

I’m not sure what that last bit was supposed to mean. Too cold? Very few strip clubs are outside. You’d think a prince would know these things.

The amazing thing is, while remarks like this one usually lead to a storm of criticism in the British press, the people at whom the prince’s barbs are directed seem to take them in stride. “I don’t think he put his foot in it,” Rendle reassured reporters. “It was a joke and I didn’t take any offense. I think he was just putting people at their ease.” Because nothing puts a young woman at ease like an 88-year-old man asking her if she takes off her clothes for money. Especially if the guy’s wife is right there. And she’s, you know, the queen. Philip has become famous over the years for this sort of thing. Just recently, it came to light that seven years ago, the queen asked a 15-year-old cadet blinded in an IRA bombing how much sight he had left. Philip responded, “Not a lot, judging by the tie he’s wearing.”

My favorite is still the crack he made to a group of British students in China: “If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.”

All of these have caused controversy to various degrees in Britain, but none of it seems to bother Crazy Phil. That’s just how he rolls.

In the insect kingdom, the drone bee wanders off and dies after impregnating the queen. The female praying mantis bites the male’s head off during mating to signify that his task on Earth is done.

Unfortunately for Philip, his heir-siring duties as prince consort were over in 1964, once he got done fathering a prince (Charles), a princess royal (Anne), a duke (Andrew) and an earl (Edward). Since then, he really hasn’t had a lot to do except drink gin, go to horse races and say things that tick people off.

Maybe the BBC, or even some American network, ought to give him his own sitcom. After all, curmudgeonly old dudes who say outrageous things are a staple of both British and American TV comedy. The guy’s a natural. He’s got years of experience, we know he can ad-lib, and he’s got a built-in fan base.

I can see it now: “That’s Our Prince!” coming this fall on Fox. Hey, it can’t be any stupider or more offensive than “The Cleveland Show.”