Saturday, November 10, 2007

Limbaugh Gets Punk'd

Daily Kos:

Breaking news: "proof" that global warming is entirely a natural event published in a definitive looking (okay, at first glance) site with The Journal of Geoclimatic Studies. (The links are down. Great Beyond has links to the cache material.) According to a paper on the website, rising volumes of CO2 are actually produced by "saprotrophic eubacteria living in the sediments of the continental shelves fringing the Atlantic and Pacific oceans." In other words, humanity had no role. Well, this paper began to run the lines of the Climate Denier branch of the Flat Earth Society. DeSmogBlog has a run of some of those who chose to run with this fantasy. Well, for these Flat Earthers, one problem: none of the authors existed.....

Well, add Rush to the list of Flat Earthers caught, well, caught flat-footed. Yes, "America's Truth Detector" has such a good nose for fraud that we can expect that Brooklyn Bridge salesmen have had a good time with him.

Let's see...Dan Rather broadcast a story that contains a memo regarding Dubbya's suspicious early departure from Texas Air National Guard service. Wingnuts cry that the memo was a fraud. No expert source ever actually calls it that, as far as I know, but that becomes the conventional wisdom. Rather loses his job over it, and every time someone brings up Bush's walking away from his duty under cover of Daddy's influence, the cries go up from the howler monkeys of the Right: TANG MEMO! TANG MEMO!

So Rush gets punk'd by a paper that's admittedly faked. By normal logic, therefore, Rush should lose his job and everyone who questions global warming and its causation by humans should be greeted with derisive smirks of JGS PAPER! JGS PAPER!


I'm not holding my breath.

Friday, November 09, 2007


Over at J. Carson Black's blog Novel Investigations , the fiercely talented Lori G. Armstrong muses on a subject near and dear to my heart: the frustration of being typed as a "regional" writer.

Lori sets her mystery series in South Dakota, and her love for the place is in every page. But hell, that girl could set a novel in an empty room and make you want to go there. She's that good.

Some People Will Believe Anythng

Presenting Jenkem, the newest drug craze in our middle schools. (warning: gross out potential is high)

Quick! Convene a Congressional committee!

But not until you read THIS.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

News From the Writer's Strike

United Hollywood: Steve Carell, star of The Office," informed NBC today that he is unable to report to work on the show "because he is suffering from 'enlarged balls.”

Heh. Go, Steve.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

Think Progress:

Q: Is it ever reasonable to restrict constitutional freedoms in the name of fighting terrorism?

MS. PERINO: In our opinion, no.

White House Press Secretary Dana Perino, Scolding Pakistani dictator Pervez Musharraf

Are you fucking kidding me? This administration has sought to restrict: the Fourth Amendment right to be free from unreasonable search and seizures, as well as the "probable cause" standard contained therein; they've tossed aside the Fifth Amendment Due Process Clause like used Kleenex; they've thrown down and danced upon the Sixth Amendment guarantee of a "speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury," to say nothing of the right "to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense."

Do these people even listen anymore to the bullshit that's coming out of their mouths?

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Presenting the Dusty Awards

Latest Newspaper Column:

We all know about the Pulitzer Prizes for journalism. They're the Oscar, the Emmy, the Gold Medal for excellence in the reportorial arts.

But what about the opposite end of the spectrum? Where's the journalistic equivalent of Hollywood's "Razzie Award," given out to commemorate the truly awful in American Cinema? Where, you may wonder, is the Anti-Pulitzer for journalism?

Well, my good friends, wonder no more. Where a void exists, your Humble Columnist rushes to fill it, in the spirit of public service. That, and the spirit of trying desperately to make his column deadline. I hereby establish the first Dusty Rhoades Awards, or "Dusties," for truly egregious "accomplishment" in American journalism.

Now, there are still some details to work out, such as how often the awards will be held. There are an awful lot of news sources these days, and Sturgeon's Law ("9o percent of everything is crap") has never been more eloquently demonstrated than in the cow-pie-covered field that is journalism.

I could easily

give one out every month. But when it comes right down to it, I'm just too darn lazy for that. It's never too early, however, to start thinking of some categories and some nominees.

The first category is the "Wait, What?" Award, given to the American reporter who says something so mind-bogglingly stupid that you feel like you need an instant replay just to confirm that your ears aren't deceiving you.

The first nomination goes to CNN's Glenn Beck.

Beck, a C-list right-wing talk radio host, was apparently brought on board by CNN on the theory that the best way to refute charges of liberal bias is to hire a mindlessly vicious bigot, prop him up in front of the camera, and let him babble to his shriveled little heart's content.

Beck wins the nomination for his remark during his coverage of the Southern California wildfires. Beck started off all Obama-esque: "Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean you hate America and I love America. We all love America. We just disagree on how we should function." So far, so good. But then Beck blurted out, "I think there is a handful of people who hate America. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them are losing their homes in a forest fire today."

Wait, what? Who, exactly, was he talking about? There were a lot of people in the way of a lot of fires -- rich, poor, Republican, Democrat, etc. To which of these fire victims was Beck referring? Does all of Southern California hate America, even the ones in the upscale Republican enclave of Orange County? Beck remains inscrutable.

The next category is the "Memento" award. This one is named for the movie about a man with short-term memory loss who couldn't remember what he did from day to day, which posed some real challenges for the man in solving his wife's murder. This award is given to the journalist who can't seem to remember what he did from day to day, which poses some ... wait, did I already say that?

Anyway, the first nominee for this award is Fox News' John Gibson.

Gibson is best known not only for his bizarre televangelist hairstyle, but also for his bloodthirsty gloating over the killing of an innocent man after the London subway bombings ("Five in the noggin is fine"). He gets the nod for his recent comments decrying "liberal journalists." He took MSNBC host Chris Matthews to task for "advising" Barack Obama about what he "needed to say" to Hillary Clinton.

"Is it legitimate," Gibson huffed, "for one news anchor to publicly advise one candidate on how to beat another, and still try to pretend he's objective and neutral? My friends, fair and balanced this is not."

Gibson apparently had forgotten that the day before, he himself had said, "I think if Obama is going to close the gap with Hillary, he needs a new attack." Hypocrisy? Brain damage? You make the call. It's admittedly hard to tell with Gibson.

Third, we have the "You Got Served" award, given to that journalist who asks a stupid question, only to have his or her subject strike back and leave the questioner with egg on one's face. This nomination goes to CBS' Lesley Stahl, who sat down for a "60 Minutes" interview with French President Nicholas Sarkozy.

When Stahl got into questions about Sarkozy's relationship with his wife Cecilia (from whom he was divorced two weeks after the interview), Sarkozy, in an admirably calm voice, said, "If I had to say something about Cecilia, I would certainly not do so here." Then he got up and left, with a dumbfounded Stahl gaping after him. Awesome.

Well, I see we're running out of space. We'll have more later. In the meantime, feel free to suggest nominations to me, care of this newspaper. And in case you were wondering, Dusty Rhoades and his staff and employees are not eligible.