Saturday, July 26, 2008

Because Nothing Shows Off Your Erudition Like a Fart Joke

From the Letters Section at :

Dusty Rhoades, when you look up "liberal media" in the dictionary, your picture is there.

I beat out favorite wingnut whipping boy CBS? Awesome.

As a matter of fact, if you were any further to the left, you'd fall off the page.

Admiral Smith was dead-on with his Wesley Clark quote. Sen. McCain didn't bring up his Vietnam service. Wesley Clark did.

Yes, as we know, John McCain never, ever mentions his service in Vietnam and his time as a POW. Never. He's just modest like that.

In contrast, John Kerry flaunted and exploited his service with his "Reporting for Duty" salute. That brought out people who actually served with him and questioned some of that service.

And by "questioned", we mean "told a bunch of lies which were easily refuted, and which John McCain himself said were dishonest and dishonorable* , yet are still mindlessly repeated by Kool-Aid drinking 27 percenters like this letter writer."

The liberal media now love to use the words "swift boating" whenever one of their own is scrutinized.

I believe you still might have some time to change the title of your next book. May I suggest "Breaking Wind"? Perhaps your falling off the page might not be such a bad idea.

Dennis Strojny, Pinewild

Oooh, snap! Dennis, with witty repartee like that, the National Review is not beyond your reach.

*before, that is, Mr. Straight Talk Maverick McCain started taking their money.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Murder by 4

I'm guest blogging today at Murder by 4, and the subject is Marketing vs. Connecting. Drop by and let's talk.

Thanks to Marta Stephens , author of Silenced Cry, for inviting me!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Wingnut Explosion in Three...Two...One....

Vanity Fair Parodies a Parody....

In case the picture's not clear, John McCain's wife is holding a handful of pills (a possible reference to her previous prescription drug addiction) next to McCain in a walker (he's very very very old, remember) while the Constitution burns merrily in the fireplace and a picture of George Dubbya hangs on the wall.

Let the storm of wingnut indignation begin!

I expect to be particularly entertained by the convoluted explanations of how the Obama cover was no big deal and/or was funny, but THIS IS DIFFERENT! Because John McCain is a WAR HERO! And everyone should LAY OFF HIS WIFE, even though Michelle Obama is fair game, because...because...BECAUSE SHUT UP, THAT'S WHY!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

THANK YOU! (And An Inspirational Message)

First off, I'd like to thank all the Hellions who've sent good wishes and who've done so much to spread the word about BREAKING COVER. Keep up the good work! And to provide you with motivation, here is a reading from the Book of Hellions:

  1. Go thou to thy local bookseller, and there shalt thou speak unto him, saying. "hast thou BREAKING COVER by J.D. Rhoades?"
  2. And if his answer be "yea," embrace him with great rejoicing, and give unto him the kiss of friendship.
  3. But if his answer be "nay," then shalt thou upbraid him with great indignation, saying "WTF be the matter with thee? For verily this was a Booksense/Indiebound notable pick for August! Art thou halt, or blind, or lame?"
  4. And I say unto you, great shall be his mortification on that day, and he shall repent from his iniquities, and great will be the orders which shall proceed therefrom.
  5. And lo, thou shalt receive thy reward at the next tavern in which your Hellion Supreme Exalted President For Life shall encounter you, and there will be joy and merriment all the days of your life. Amen.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Dear Hellions:

Our long wait is over. After a seemingly endless night of anticipation, the rosy-fingered dawn breaks over a landscape forever changed, and nothing will ever be the same.

Yes, my dear and true friends, BREAKING COVER, the fourth J.D. Rhoades novel, goes on sale today.

I know your joy to be as great as mine.

But, dear friends, let our rejoicing be mixed with a solemn resolve. For there is much work still to be done. We must all pitch in to accomplish the task before us: to spread the word, far and wide, that your Supreme Exalted President for Life has delivered a "gripping stand-alone thriller (Publisher's Weekly)" and that "a breath-taking pace, paired with a sure sense of character and place, makes this book another winner. (Laura Lippman)". I mean, C'mon, who's gonna argue with Laura Lippman? Not me, you betcha.

Let the word go forth from this time and place that the torch has been passed to a new generation of J.D. Rhoades novels, but that if you want to pick up the earlier ones too, that's cool.

We shall sell them in the independent bookstores, we shall sell them in the big box stores, we shall sell them in the Costcos and Wal-Marts and online. We shall never surrender. And if we don't see the book in any of those places, we shall grab the nearest bookseller by the lapels and demand to know why not. Politely, of course.

I know you won't let me down. Because I have faith in you.

Damn it, I promised myself I wouldn't cry....

Sunday, July 20, 2008


What Divine Caroline tells us:

Odds of winning an Academy Award: 1 in 11,500
Odds of bowling a 300 game: 1 in 11,500

Odds that you will die from the collision of an asteroid hitting the earth in the next one hundred years: 1 in 500,000

Odds of dating a millionaire: 1 in 215
Odds of writing a New York Times best seller: 1 in 220

So I'm feeling a little more sanguine now...if this one doesn't hit the list, all I have to do is plan to write 216 more books. One of 'em's bound to take...

Hat tip to Paper Cuts

Let Me Whisper in Your Ear....

In case you missed it the first time, the new, improved JD Rhoades official website now has the audio file of Yours Truly reading the first chapter of BREAKING COVER (which, lest we forget, hits the street on Tuesday).

Check it out!