Wingnut Carpetbaggers Not Welcome in NY-23

Watertown Daily Times columnist Jeffrey Savitksie describes why right wing candidate Doug Hoffman lost in the election that gave New York's 23d District its first Democratic congressman since the Civil War:

Hoffman's cash didn't come from somebody in Hermon or Hopkinton or Adams Center or from anywhere that cares about the north country. It came from folks who know so little about the north country that they would likely believe it if you told them Alexandria Bay was an exotic dancer. They know the 23rd Congressional District only as a place they might be able to make a political point for their team nationally. They might know where it is exactly, but I doubt it. They probably just describe it as “somewhere in New York.”

It is somewhere, by the way, where their handpicked Hoffman robot doesn't even live. A minor concern, I suppose, if you have your eyes on a bigger prize and aren't worried about the little people who actually do live in the district. Hoffman and his moneybaggers might be pro-life, but they sure aren't pro-north country life.

One thing the people of NY-23 weren't going to stand for is a bunch of out of staters telling them who they could vote for. I guess the wingnuts don't understand small town America the way they claim to.

Your Liberal Media At Work.

So a Democrat wins a House seat that's been Republican since the 19th century, after wingnut stars like Glenn Beck, Michelle Malkin, Sarah Palin and Tim Pawlenty throw their weight behind a teabagger third party candidate and drive the Republican nominee out of the race for being too liberal, and after Barack Obama gives his endorsement to the Democrat who eventually wins...

...and the night is reported as a huge setback for Obama and the Democrats because of two governor's races.

The Republican victories Tuesday in Virginia and New Jersey are a setback for Obama as he struggles to overhaul the U.S. health care system, win passage of climate change legislation, and build political support for his handling of the war in Afghanistan.

Yes, because the governors of Virginia and New Jersey have so much power over those issues.

Liberal media, my ass.

NOOOOOOOOOoooooooo!

A forklift driver in a liquor warehouse has an unthinkable accident:



It is to weep.

In a comic book, after a disaster like that, he'd probably rise after weeks in a booze-soaked coma to discover he'd transformed into a superhero or something.

Hey, is it my imagination, or does the newsreader sound like she's had a couple of stiff ones as well? Drinks, I mean.

The Lazy Way to Successful Punditry

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I tell you, folks, I'm weakening. I'm about to do something I thought I'd sworn off forever.

I'm considering joining the Republican Party again.

Some of my long-term readers may recall my joining the GOP back in '05 and '06 and writing about it in this column. Not because of any ideological change of heart, but precisely because the GOP had no actual ideology other than IOKIYAR: It's OK If You're A Republican.

Back in those days, the knee-jerk Republican defense of everything from adultery to sexually propositioning teenagers to shoplifting suggested to me that whatever I did, I'd always find a host of defenders so long as I had the correct political affiliation. Not that I was going to do any of those things, mind you, but it was just nice to know.

Well, I left the party, but I have to say, I'm sorely tempted to join up again. Not just for the complete lack of moral accountability (even though the David Vitter and Mark Sanford cases show that that's still alive and well), but because it would make writing this column so much easier.

See, I'm basically a lazy person. It's a real drag sometimes when I'm writing this column to go back and actually check various sources to make sure that the things I'm saying about people have at least some basis in fact.

But if I were a conservative Republican, I wouldn't have to do any of that stuff. If I saw something that looked outrageous enough, I could write about it without having to check around and see if it actually happened. And if it turned out not to be true -- hey, who cares?

As an example, let's take de facto Republican Party leader Rush Limbaugh. Limbaugh recently went on the air with a real blockbuster of a story: Time magazine reporter Joe Klein had uncovered a thesis written by Barack Obama while Obama was a student at Columbia University.

The thesis was supposedly harshly critical of the U.S. Constitution, stating, "The so-called Founders did not allow for economic freedom. While political freedom is supposedly a cornerstone of the document, the distribution of wealth is not even mentioned. While many believed that the new Constitution gave them liberty, it instead fitted them with the shackles of hypocrisy."

Only problem was, as Limbaugh was informed almost immediately, the story was a complete hoax, a satire posted on an allegedly humorous blog called "Jumping In Pools."

Joe Klein himself denied ever writing such a piece. "It is completely false," Klein posted on Time's online blog "Swampland." "I've never seen Obama's thesis. I have no idea where this report comes from -- but I can assure you that it's complete nonsense."

Rush, as the kids say, had been punk'd.

No matter, Limbaugh smoothly stated in his very next radio hour. He repeated the false quotes, then admitted that they were probably fake, but -- and this is the cool part -- he still stood by them because (a) he himself had been misquoted recently, and (b) he "knows Obama thinks it."

You can see how, to a lazy person such as myself, this would be very attractive. As a liberal, I can't get away with, for example, saying Sarah Palin once actually claimed she had foreign policy experience because she could "see Russia from her house."

As a liberal columnist, I'd have to point out that Palin never actually said that, but that that quote was instead from "Saturday Night Live" performer Tina Fey's hilarious impression of Palin. If I didn't, you can bet there'd be a deluge of letters lambasting me for making something up. And the defense "Well, it's a lie, sure, but I know Sarah Palin thinks that way" just wouldn't cut it.

But if I were a wingnut -- boy howdy, anything goes. I could make a crazy accusation, find out it's false within the hour, and stand by it anyway. Even after it's shown to be a lie, I could circulate the story on the Internet via chain e-mails that circle around in the Internet forever.

It's really tempting. Someone talk me out of it.

Beer...Is There Anything It Can't Do?

Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge Police Sergeant James Crowley Spotted Together - wbztv.com

Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge police Sergeant James Crowley were spotted at a pub in Cambridge Wednesday night.

The owner of "River Gods" told WBZ the two sat in a booth together and talked for about an hour.

Over the summer, Crowley arrested Gates for disorderly conduct while responding to reports of a possible break-in at Gates' home. Gates accused the officer of racial profiling.

The incident led to a nation-wide debate over racial profiling and race relations, when President Barack Obama commented on the situation - coming to Gates' defense. All three men later sat at a table outside the White House in what became known as the 'beer summit.'

You Paid WHAT?

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Recently, tequila maker Jose Cuervo ­decided to celebrate the 350th anniversary of the company by making a very special "Extra Añejo" blend, which would go for a ­whopping 2,250 bucks a bottle.

I have to say, I was a little taken aback. In the days of my misspent youth, I was known to ­partake of Señor Cuervo's product on occasion, and "premium" is not the word that comes to mind when I reminisce about it. The words that do come to mind are ­"hurling," "psychosis," and, "Oh, God, just let me get through this and I swear I'll never drink again!"

Nevertheless, the pricey tequila, aged in oak barrels for three years, blended with "select aged tequilas from the family's reserves," then aged 10 more months in used Spanish sherry casks, is reported to be a near-religious experience by one drinker. "A beautifully balanced tequila with an elegance you'll find in few sipping ­spirits," wrote Tony Sachs of the Huffington Post.

Well, maybe. But $2,250 a bottle? For that kind of dough, I want more than smooth taste and a good buzz. I want it to make my teeth whiter, my hair shinier and my eyesight better, and give me a singing voice like Van Morrison. And not just to my own ears.

But it got me thinking about conspicuous ­consumption: the quest for not just the best ­product, but the most expensive one. There's just a special cachet that attaches to products that make people go, "You paid what?!"

Take, for instance, the world's most expensive car, the Bugatti Veyron. You might think that $1.5 million is a lot of money for a car. But when you consider that it packs a 16-cylinder engine generating 1,001 horsepower, goes 0-60 in 2.5 seconds, hits 252 mph top speed in less than a minute, and can be ordered with an interior by Louis Vuitton...

OK, it's still a lot of money for a car. So go for one of life's simpler pleasures, like the world's most expensive bagel. Concocted by Chef Frank Tujague of New York's Westin Hotel, the bagel is "topped with white truffle cream cheese and goji berry-infused Riesling jelly with golden leaves."

As it turns out, those white truffles are the ­second most expensive food in the world (with caviar being No. 1). So if you've got a hankering for a nutritious breakfast featuring a tree ­fungus dug up by pigs, hop on up to the Westin. It'll only set you back a thousand bucks.

If want to gloat to your poorer friends and relations that you just dropped a grand on ­breakfast, why not do it on the world's most expensive cell phone? The Swiss company Goldvish SA sells a phone made of 18k white gold and set with 20 carats of fine diamonds. The phone also features Bluetooth, 2 GB of ­storage, FM radio, a digital camera and MP3 playback. What, no bottle opener?

Of course, you're not going to wash a ­breakfast like that down with Sanka. No, you want the worlds' most expensive coffee, the $600-a-pound brew made from the Kopi Luwak beans found in Southeast Asia.

The Kopi Luwak is cultivated, if you can call it that, in a somewhat unusual way. The raw beans are eaten, but not fully digested, by a weasel-like critter called the Asian Palm Civet. Something in the little beastie's digestive tract alters the chemistry of the beans and apparently creates extra deliciousness. When nature takes its course, the natives gather up and sell the beans, then presumably retire to their homes and ­chortle that they just charged some Westerner a premium price for weasel poo.

It just goes to show: There is nothing so ­outrageously priced that someone, somewhere, won't pay for it. Because as it turns out, the Cuervo referenced above isn't even the world's most expensive tequila. That honor goes to a ­bottle of "Super Premium" tequila made by a company called Tequila Ley .925. Price: $225,000. For a bottle of booze.

P.T. Barnum was right. There's one born every minute.