Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Okay, Now I Get It

'Bare Nekkid Mainers' Enjoy Buff Bowling: (AP) OLD TOWN, Maine: When members of the Bare Nekkid Mainers rent the Old Town Bowling Center, all they really need are the shoes. 'Hey, you can't go skinny-dipping at this time of year,' Hessa, who organizes the gatherings and wanted to be identified only by her first name, told the Bangor Daily News.

Self-described naturist nudists, the Bare Nekkid Mainers belong to an international organization and participate in nudist events throughout the year.

The group used to bowl in Albion, but their venue there closed.

During the three events held at the Old Town center since September, the one-story building was closed with its windows and doors covered. Signs announced that a private party was in progress.

'I have absolutely no problem with it, and I hope nobody else does,' Charles 'Chip' Carson, the center's owner, said Monday. 'They just happen to like having a good time without their clothes on.'"

Well, who doesn't?

Still, on one occasion earlier this month, a man apparently ignored the signs and entered the center with his 8-year-old son.

"I tried to stop him," Hessa said Monday. "He walked through two doors that were covered in paper and had signs."

That'll learn him.

He apparently saw a nude male playing pool and went to police.

"One of our officers went over there to check," Old Town police Capt. Kyle Smart said Monday.

Police found no violations, and after checking with the city attorney and municipal officials, concluded there has been no wrongdoing.

"We're not doing anything sexually explicit, and we're not out there doing it on Main Street," Hessa said.

About 60 households belong to Bare Nekkid Mainers, and several dozen people have participated in each bowling event in Old Town, the newspaper said.

Sixty? How the hell many people can there be in Old Town? This has got to be, like, at least a quarter of the population. What's in the water up there? And can it be bottled for national consumption?

Carson turns the thermostat up to make his patrons more comfortable and says the events are handled like any private party.

Who says you can't find good customer service anymore?

"Everybody's laughed at it, to be honest with you," he said.

Nudists in Maine. A hardy and resourceful group. God love 'em. And God Bless America.


Patrick Shawn Bagley said...

Buncha pansies. Nekkid icefishin'. Now THAT's fun!

JD Rhoades said...

You come from hardy stock, Patrick.

Steve Allan said...

Patrick, you're supposed to dangle the fishing line through the hole - you're not gonna catch anything with that... the ice isn't thin enough. :)

Patrick Shawn Bagley said...

Oh. Fishing line, eh? No wonder I never catch anything. Plus it hurts like a son of a bitch when I put the hook in.